Project LifeBook
One designer, two albums, 500 scraps of paper, 50 decorative pieces, and 10 stacks of photos. Thus begins "Project LifeBook."
For those of you unfamiliar with the term, a LifeBook is simply the story of a child's life. By using words, photos, the child's artwork, and memorabilia, you can create a fun record of the important events in your child's life. Many experts believe that every adopted child needs his/her own LifeBook. It is more than a baby book or scrapbook, because the words are the most important part. Involving your child in the creating and in the telling of his/her life story is a vital part of this process. LifeBooks are considered to be such a useful tool for filling in the gaps in an adoptive child's life that in some states, adoptive parents are legally required to create them.
After attending a class on bonding, attaching and parenting adopted children (offered for free by our home study agency), Jeff and I now have a clearer idea of what goes into a LifeBook. So, this weekend, we went out and bought a bunch of scrapbooking supplies. Not being a scrapbooking kind of person, I was a bit overwhelmed with all the papers, decorative pieces and kits available. I mean, what am I supposed to do with all this stuff?
I'm much more accustomed to using colorful papers to create artwork for my kids’ rooms. The whole tearing/layering/crafty page layout thing is a bit beyond me at the moment. I am trying to learn though! In the meantime, I’ve begun talking with Vika and Eamon about their life in Russia and recording their memories for their LifeBooks. I’ve also begun writing about what we know of their birth mom and the time they spent in the orphanages. For the time being, I’ve left out some of the painful stuff about their birth family (alcoholism, illness, etc.). Jeff and I will most likely just discuss this with them when they get older and ask more questions about their birth family. I guess I’m still not sure how to handle this part of our kids’ history.
Are there other adoptive parents out there (or bio parents, for that matter) that have any input regarding creating LifeBooks and dealing with painful subjects? Suggestions are welcome!
For those of you unfamiliar with the term, a LifeBook is simply the story of a child's life. By using words, photos, the child's artwork, and memorabilia, you can create a fun record of the important events in your child's life. Many experts believe that every adopted child needs his/her own LifeBook. It is more than a baby book or scrapbook, because the words are the most important part. Involving your child in the creating and in the telling of his/her life story is a vital part of this process. LifeBooks are considered to be such a useful tool for filling in the gaps in an adoptive child's life that in some states, adoptive parents are legally required to create them.
After attending a class on bonding, attaching and parenting adopted children (offered for free by our home study agency), Jeff and I now have a clearer idea of what goes into a LifeBook. So, this weekend, we went out and bought a bunch of scrapbooking supplies. Not being a scrapbooking kind of person, I was a bit overwhelmed with all the papers, decorative pieces and kits available. I mean, what am I supposed to do with all this stuff?
I'm much more accustomed to using colorful papers to create artwork for my kids’ rooms. The whole tearing/layering/crafty page layout thing is a bit beyond me at the moment. I am trying to learn though! In the meantime, I’ve begun talking with Vika and Eamon about their life in Russia and recording their memories for their LifeBooks. I’ve also begun writing about what we know of their birth mom and the time they spent in the orphanages. For the time being, I’ve left out some of the painful stuff about their birth family (alcoholism, illness, etc.). Jeff and I will most likely just discuss this with them when they get older and ask more questions about their birth family. I guess I’m still not sure how to handle this part of our kids’ history.Are there other adoptive parents out there (or bio parents, for that matter) that have any input regarding creating LifeBooks and dealing with painful subjects? Suggestions are welcome!
First of all I want to tell you that I loved your pics on Flickr! It is so fun to share pics this way.
I thought I would start Pineapple's lifebook before she came, but I want to start out with all of the pics from our second trip too. I don't have much to go on right now.
You are so creative; I am sure your kids books will look great. I purchased a book called LifeBooks : Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child by Beth O'Malley. It looks like a pretty good resource of ideas and ways to put together your book.
It is a tough decision on what to include when you have sad background info or no info (holes) in the story. I haven't yet decided how to handle that. I think the book has ideas though.
Thanks Jen. They actually mentioned the same book at the adoption parenting class, and I was thinking about buying it. If you think it looks good, then I will check into buying it on Amazon.
I bought som of the very same stuff for a lifebook and discovered that I don't like scrapbooking! Now what?
I started one for Peanut. I just tried to be as honest as I could and not put any assumptions or false sentiment in there. Here were some of the pages that I had made:
A "birth announcement" page with as many facts as I knew.
Pages for his mother, father, and each of his bio siblings (there wasn't a lot of info expect for his younger sister... because she's been adopted by a family in my state and we've been in contact).
Pages for his home town, his region, and his dietsky dom.
Several pages about our host summer experience.
The rest was a blank canvas, of course. Good luck with the LifeBooks!
p.s. When it came to things like why he was removed from his birth family, I didn't pull any punches. I stated the dates and that he was removed because his parents abused him. It's not pretty, but it was the truth. I didn't offer any excuses and I didn't make his parents out to be monsters. I just stated facts.
Thanks for your input Margaret. I want to be as honest and factual as possible, but I don't want to cast any judgements on their birth mom (even though privately, I do sometimes judge her choices a bit harshly). It's definitely a challenge!
I keep meaning to tell you that I used to scrapbbok or actually I still do but now it is more collaging. That was my old job before I became a teacher. I can help you out with background designs, but the writing stuff... I think that is more your area. Let me know.
Irma, I would LOVE your help! I've looked online, but the layouts have torn bits of papers and buttons and ribbons everywhere. It is a bit overwhelming. I did do one page, which I am a bit proud of. I'll post a picture of it on the blog sometime soon, and you can give me your critique. :)
I have tonz of books too and a whole lots of stuff. I may have to drive up there and we can spend a day doing this. It does take lots of time and out of the box thinking. I may have to look at my schedule.
I wish I could remember where I read this, but there was a section with advice on dealing with sensitive topics and issues...you could always journal about them and put them on the underside of the page so your child can read it later in life. Secret compartments can be fun to create. I think the wording will be the most important thing.
That sounds great Irma! I also like Dawn's idea of secret compartments to contain the more sensitive stuff until our kids are old enough to deal with them. Thanks for the suggestions everyone!