Some tips when bringing home your child
Recently, I've read quite a few posts in blogland regarding what to bring when you pick up your child (when adopting internationally). Since Lisa and Derek are currently in Russia, doing the 10-day wait period thing with their new son, how to communicate and bond with your child during those initial days seems to be on everyone's minds. So, I thought I'd share what worked for us, to maybe give some ideas to others out there who are awaiting court dates or are about to travel.
If adopting from Russia, check out our list of Helpful Russian Phrases when Adopting (there is a link in the sidebar). Jeff and I found this list invaluable when we adopted Vika and Eamon (incidentally, so did our family).
Next, bring children's books with you. Toys are great, but we seemed to get more mileage out of the books. Plus, if you get paperbacks, they are lighter to carry and require less luggage space. The two we read most were, A Mother for Choco and Polar Bear Polar Bear, What do you Hear? Of course, the kids did not speak English and could not understand the words, but since the books have great illustrations, and both involve animals, Vika and Eamon seemed to be able to follow along. The kids especially loved Polar Bear because we made all the animal sounds while reading, and would playfully scare the kids during the snake part. They asked for us to read this book again and again.... We don't read it so much anymore, but A Mother for Choco is still a favorite - one which Eamon has been requesting every day for the last week! It tells of a small bird finding love with a mother who does not look like him, and is great for adopted children.
The other thing we did during those long hours in the hotel room, was play games using simple English words. These were kind of silly games, designed spur-of-the-moment, to keep the kids entertained. One which they played over and over was the "Bye bye" game. Basically, they would put on their backpacks (Dora and Sponge Bob), and march around the hotel room saying "Paka! Bye Bye!" to us each time they passed by. This evolved to the "Privyet! Hi" game. We also played memory and name games with pictures of our family members.
As an aside, Vika's first English word was "Monkey" (learned when she would ask me repeatedly what Boots - on her Dora backpack - was). We played this game where I would say that Vika was a monkey, and she would laugh and say, "Nyet! Nyet! Papa Monkey!" or "Mama Monkey!" One time, when we were doing the name game with pictures in the hotel, she looked at a picture of my brother, Joe, and said, "Joe Monkey!" This caused her and Eamon to erupt into peals of laughter, and ever since then, the name has stuck. I recently told Vika that she could call my brother "Uncle Joe" instead of "Joe Monkey" and she looked at me like I was crazy. "Uncle Joe?!" she said, "That's silly!"
Anyway, back on topic.... When you are going to pick up your child, don't worry too much about packing a bunch of toys and games. We found them to be unnecessary. By reading books and playing spur-of-the-moment games with each other, I believe we were able to jump start the bonding process and help the kids (Eamon especially) learn how to have fun playing with adults. Those first few weeks with your new child are at times confusing and scary. Lightening up the mood as often as possible will help you all get through it!
If adopting from Russia, check out our list of Helpful Russian Phrases when Adopting (there is a link in the sidebar). Jeff and I found this list invaluable when we adopted Vika and Eamon (incidentally, so did our family).
Next, bring children's books with you. Toys are great, but we seemed to get more mileage out of the books. Plus, if you get paperbacks, they are lighter to carry and require less luggage space. The two we read most were, A Mother for Choco and Polar Bear Polar Bear, What do you Hear? Of course, the kids did not speak English and could not understand the words, but since the books have great illustrations, and both involve animals, Vika and Eamon seemed to be able to follow along. The kids especially loved Polar Bear because we made all the animal sounds while reading, and would playfully scare the kids during the snake part. They asked for us to read this book again and again.... We don't read it so much anymore, but A Mother for Choco is still a favorite - one which Eamon has been requesting every day for the last week! It tells of a small bird finding love with a mother who does not look like him, and is great for adopted children.
The other thing we did during those long hours in the hotel room, was play games using simple English words. These were kind of silly games, designed spur-of-the-moment, to keep the kids entertained. One which they played over and over was the "Bye bye" game. Basically, they would put on their backpacks (Dora and Sponge Bob), and march around the hotel room saying "Paka! Bye Bye!" to us each time they passed by. This evolved to the "Privyet! Hi" game. We also played memory and name games with pictures of our family members.
As an aside, Vika's first English word was "Monkey" (learned when she would ask me repeatedly what Boots - on her Dora backpack - was). We played this game where I would say that Vika was a monkey, and she would laugh and say, "Nyet! Nyet! Papa Monkey!" or "Mama Monkey!" One time, when we were doing the name game with pictures in the hotel, she looked at a picture of my brother, Joe, and said, "Joe Monkey!" This caused her and Eamon to erupt into peals of laughter, and ever since then, the name has stuck. I recently told Vika that she could call my brother "Uncle Joe" instead of "Joe Monkey" and she looked at me like I was crazy. "Uncle Joe?!" she said, "That's silly!"
Anyway, back on topic.... When you are going to pick up your child, don't worry too much about packing a bunch of toys and games. We found them to be unnecessary. By reading books and playing spur-of-the-moment games with each other, I believe we were able to jump start the bonding process and help the kids (Eamon especially) learn how to have fun playing with adults. Those first few weeks with your new child are at times confusing and scary. Lightening up the mood as often as possible will help you all get through it!
Jenni that sounds like good advice. I need to start getting some of these books everyone keeps talking about.
Thanks for the tip. So many people recommend A Mother for Choco I think I will have to get it.
Thanks for this post. I will certainly bring those books you mentioned and I already copid the phrases. Thanks for that! My kids really liked the song games in Wee Sing- so maybe I will bring those (Itsy bitsy spider with actions- that type of stuff). How old were your kids in Russia?
My kids were 4 1/2 and barely 3 when we adopted them. The Wee Sing games sound like a GREAT idea! Music was very big my kids' orphanages (as I think it is in many Russian orphanages), so they loved it when we would sing songs to them. We tried, in vain, to find some Russian children's music to bring home. Perhaps those of you who do the 10-day wait period may have better luck finding some good CDs.