Keeping things in perspective
The last few weeks with Vika and Eamon have been rough. The adjustment to both of them being in school and me working full-time has thrown our family for a bit of a loop. I knew it would, but somehow I expected the loop to be… smaller… Add a hefty dose of Mama-Guilt to the mix (this teaching gig takes way more of my time than I anticipated), and you’ve got a stinky mess. Things are beginning to smooth out a little, and when we can stick to the “Love and Logic” way of parenting, volatile situations are diffused much quicker. But it is so hard to be consistent. Our kids definitely know which buttons to push.
So, to get us out of the "kid-bashing" mode we’ve begun to slide into, Jeff and I decided to look at how far our kids have come in the nearly two years that we’ve know them.
So, to get us out of the "kid-bashing" mode we’ve begun to slide into, Jeff and I decided to look at how far our kids have come in the nearly two years that we’ve know them.
- Eamon went from being diagnosed with a “speech delay” to speaking full sentences including words like “actually,” and “noticed.” Sure, “poo-poo” has been his favorite word recently, but I’m hoping it’s just a phase.
- Vika will sit on your lap and snuggle for an hour, if you let her. Before, she would hug us quickly for a minute, and then squirm frantically to get away from our embrace.
- When we brought Eamon home, he could not sit still for even 5 minutes at a time. The only prolonged period he could remain still was when he was sleeping. Now, he can calmly sit through a whole movie, although he does still fiddle with his hands (that whole self-stimulation thing is a hard habit to break).
- Eamon used to bite, spit, scream, kick and hit when he was angry. Now he just hits with the occasional scream. Still not great, but we are making progress! And lucky for us, he’s generally a happy kid.
- Vika used to cry for her Russian Mama and Babushka a lot, especially when she felt things here were out of her control. She had a lot of grief pent up inside, and it came out frequently. Now, she still has periods of sadness, but they are few and far between.
- Vika and Eamon have both learned to express their feelings with words, which is huge in our house. They are able to identify what they are feeling, as well as the cause of it, and work through their problems (sometimes they even work through them together!). Of course, there is still a lot of fighting and sibling rivalry, but when Jeff and I ask them to take their fight somewhere else, they are usually able resolve the issue without our interference.
Jenni, you are so patient. Such a good mom. I need to learn from you (even though my kid has four legs).
that's huge Jenni. I can't wait to get to that point. We are progressing, but we are not there yet.
Sounds like they are doing wonderful with you guys. They never forget how to push all your buttons it seems though, huh? (Mine too, adopted and not).
It's good to remind ourselves of all the good things to help cancel out the not so good. Funny, because whenever my kids are all in bed sleeping and I go check on them before I go to bed, I also make some comment to my husband about how they're just the sweetest kids ever. He always just laughs at my "yeah, you say that now, but...."
It is good to sit back and reflect on the good things. And, since they're kids, they will ALWAYS drive you a bit crazy. Being patient is one of the hardest parts of parenting. You and Jeff are doing an incredible job.
Even when they are 40 they will continue to push "those buttons".... it's just part of the parent/child relationship.
You have taught them skills that many adults don't have....communication and dealing with their thoughts and feelings.
It's great to see you two looking at how far they have come instead of where they aren't. GREAT job!
You've come a LONG way, baby.
;> Maledyets!
Teaching is tough and when put with raising your kids is even tougher. Your kiddies have come a long way. It will get better. I hope.
You've all come so far as a family.
Keeping things in perspective definitely helps. You have really come along way with those kids. Holy crap this parenting thing is hard, and just gets harder the older they get. Keep up the great work.
Well Done Guys!!
You guys are a great team and a great family!!!
:)
Thank you for being such a great resource, and congratulations on your progress :) This parenting stuff is hard.
When things are hard it is difficult to see and remember the progress. Occasionally I have little reminders of where Slugger was three short months ago. We've made huge progress in such a short time. (I know the steps forward are likely to slow and take longer now.) I think it's great that you took the time to list and think over all the progress you've made as a family.
That is a lot to juggle and it sounds like you are taking everything in stride. I ahve to imagine the best thing about the kids' growth is the physical and emotional contact...there's nothing like a good kid hug!!!
You guys are great parents, and I know when you're at your wits end with your kids you can feel like the worst parent ever! Trust me, I'm right there with you! When Ariel is especially bad, I cry and wonder what in the world I've done to make her act that way. Then I remember that she's getting breasts, which means her body is doing things her mind is probably not ready for. Add in her naturally attitude/personality and a dose of what's going on in her mouth, and it's easier to understand her mood swings. Point being, what you guys are doing is great, and the reflection is a fabulous idea, one I think I'll steal from you!!! It's very easy to get caught up in the things that are driving you crazy, and ignore the things that make you smile...again, great job you guys!! And I'm always here if you need a sounding board!
Wow that is huge!
I am stopping by to say hello via Starfish . . . will be joing you in teh KAL.
Beagle
You are both such wonderful parents. Your children have thrived. Thank you for this lovely reminder of what is to come!
Wow, they have made such progress. That's wonderful. There is nothing like looking at how far they have come that just makes you sit back in amazement. I feel the same way.!