That's My Girl!
As long-time readers of this blog know, Vika's always been pretty direct and to the point. She doesn't try to sugar-coat anything, and she definitely knows who she is. This was illustrated perfectly on Mother's Day. Jeff, the kids and I were having brunch with my mom & Ed and my brother Joe's family at a local restaurant. Vix had to use the ladies room and asked that I accompany her. So off we went, to wait in the inevitable line that always seems to lurk just inside the bathroom door.
As we entered, we almost bumped the last woman standing in line. Vika and I both apologized, and the woman (whom I'll call Stacy, because that's what she looked like) began giggling and immediately forgave us. Then she looked at Vika and said, "What a cute little girl!" Vix immediately grabbed my hand and pressed closer to my side (she gets nervous sometimes when strangers talk about her), at which point Stacy looked from Vika to me and excalimed, "Oh! Is she yours?" Her eyes darted between the two of us, clearly confused by the difference in our coloring. I smiled and said, "Yep! She sure is!" Stacy's confusion grew and she began stumbling over her words: "Wow... I mean, she's got such dark skin and you're... well, her father must be... Um...." At this point, Vika decided to clear things up. "I'm adopted," she said. Stacy began giggling some more and responded, "No you're not!" As if Vika was trying to pull one over on her. Biting back a laugh I smiled and said, "Actually yes, she is." "I'm from Russia!" Vika added.
Poor Stacy didn't know what to make of this, so she simply said, "Oh! I'm sorry!"
"Don't be!" I replied. "We're not."
In an effort to make the woman feel more at ease (but actually only making her discomfort worse), Vika went on to explain, "Both my brother and me are adopted from Russia. We have the same mother there, but different fathers." This rendered Stacy completely speechless, and her relief when a stall opened up was obvious. After she rushed in and locked the door, I laughed quietly, hugged Vika and said, "Dude, you're AWESOME!"
Vika shrugged her shoulders and said, "What? We're from Russia!" like it was no big deal. That put a smile on my face for the rest of the day. I love that both Vika and Eamon are so matter of fact about their adoption and don't see it as a source of shame. Hopefully that attitude will continue throughout their lives, and they'll always feel a little special that they were chosen to be a part of our family. And, if they do a little educating of people like Stacy along the way, more power to them!
As we entered, we almost bumped the last woman standing in line. Vika and I both apologized, and the woman (whom I'll call Stacy, because that's what she looked like) began giggling and immediately forgave us. Then she looked at Vika and said, "What a cute little girl!" Vix immediately grabbed my hand and pressed closer to my side (she gets nervous sometimes when strangers talk about her), at which point Stacy looked from Vika to me and excalimed, "Oh! Is she yours?" Her eyes darted between the two of us, clearly confused by the difference in our coloring. I smiled and said, "Yep! She sure is!" Stacy's confusion grew and she began stumbling over her words: "Wow... I mean, she's got such dark skin and you're... well, her father must be... Um...." At this point, Vika decided to clear things up. "I'm adopted," she said. Stacy began giggling some more and responded, "No you're not!" As if Vika was trying to pull one over on her. Biting back a laugh I smiled and said, "Actually yes, she is." "I'm from Russia!" Vika added.
Poor Stacy didn't know what to make of this, so she simply said, "Oh! I'm sorry!"
"Don't be!" I replied. "We're not."
In an effort to make the woman feel more at ease (but actually only making her discomfort worse), Vika went on to explain, "Both my brother and me are adopted from Russia. We have the same mother there, but different fathers." This rendered Stacy completely speechless, and her relief when a stall opened up was obvious. After she rushed in and locked the door, I laughed quietly, hugged Vika and said, "Dude, you're AWESOME!"
Vika shrugged her shoulders and said, "What? We're from Russia!" like it was no big deal. That put a smile on my face for the rest of the day. I love that both Vika and Eamon are so matter of fact about their adoption and don't see it as a source of shame. Hopefully that attitude will continue throughout their lives, and they'll always feel a little special that they were chosen to be a part of our family. And, if they do a little educating of people like Stacy along the way, more power to them!
Great story!
Very cool. Yay for Vika!
That's awesome. Go Vika!
It kind of reminds me of the time that I took Slugger to the orthopedist (after he broke his hand -- remember that?). The orthopedist knows my family so he knew Slugger was adopted and said about the most inane comment ever. He said to Slugger "You must be happy to have a mom now." (Insert gagging noises here.) Slugger responded beautifully and said "Actually, she's my eighth mom."
I couldn't have responded better myself. The doctor sputtered and looked to me for help, but I just let that one linger in the air without explanation. Cause I'm cruel like that. :-)
I love it. Way to go, Vixen!
She is one awesome little girl.
Good for her! Way to go Vika!
Smart girl. Way to go.
Anastasia has taken this past week to running around with a photo of her biological mother, and thrusting it at people and saying, "This is my mother in Russia; she killed my baby sister because she wouldn't stop drinking when she was in her tummy, and when I was in the children's home she didn't even come to visit me!" Stacy can count herself lucky in terms of finding something to say! Anastasia's listeners are truly struck dumb. No calm, considered conversation on my part about not telling everyone everything, has made any difference whatsoever. I presume she will soon grow tired of this conversational strategy. Hope so!
Maggie - Slugger's response to the doctor's comment was priceless! He rules.
Annie - I can well imagine how Anastasia's listeners are struck dumb! That's too funny! Fingers crossed, our daughters will learn some tact as they get older. ;)
good for her. that a girl
That is so awesome. Glad your mothers day was great. Hope all is well.
A great one! I just love to see them so proud and happy with who they are and where they come from!
Great job Mom!
It never ceases to amaze me what people will say to kids. What on earth was "Stacy" doing asking you "is she yours?"????! I love your response to her embarrassed "I'm sorry" of "don't be, we're not". It's hard to come up with the right response to that sort of thing! And yeah Vika for taking it all in stride.
We've had people ask Anton how old he is and then tell him that he can't be that age (because he is so short). Another parent once remarked to Kirk "wow - your kids look nothing like you!" What on earth are these people thinking?!