A poem for adoptive parents

Michelle recently shared this poem with me, and it addresses many things we've been thinking about it our family, especially considering what we learned during our birthfamily search. I thought I would share it with you as well.


You cannot change the truth.
These are your children,
but they came from somewhere else
and they are the children of those places
and of those people as well.

Help them to know all about their past
and about their present.
Help them to know that they are from extended families,
that they only have one parent or set of parents,
but that they have more mothers and fathers.
They have grandmothers, godmothers, birthmothers, mother countries, mother earth.
They have grandfathers, godfathers, birthfathers and fatherlands.
They have family by birth and by adoption.
They have family by choice and by chance.

Childhood is short;
They are our children to raise;
they are our children to love;
and then they are citizens of the world.
What we do to them creates the world that we live in.
Give them life.
Give them their truth.
Give them love.
Give them all that they came with,
Give them all that they grow with.

Your children do not belong to you,
but they belong with you.
You cannot keep them from what is theirs, but you can keep loving them.
You do not own your children,
but they are your own.
5 Responses
  1. Jeff's Place Says:

    SWEET!!!


  2. The poem is from the book The Family of Adoption by Joyce Maguire Pavao, who is a family and adoption therapist and an adoptee herself. It is an excellent book when you're dealing with birthfamily issues.


  3. Sandi Says:

    From the "Childhood is short" line to the end of the poem, the words would be the same for birth children. As sad as it is for parents, our children (regardless of how we became their parents) are not "our" to own. But to love and help grow so they can survive in the world.

    Beautiful poem.


  4. kate Says:

    Your children do not belong to you,
    but they belong with you.


    That's my favorite part.


  5. Calico Sky Says:

    How beautiful!

    Kate
    http://poppyandpeony.wordpress.com