School Daze
Things have been quite hectic at school lately. I feel like I've been running around non-stop with no breaks in sight. Added to this is the pressure of a parent, whom I'll call "Mrs. Helicopter" (Mrs. H for short). Her child did not do so well on his last report card, mostly because he doesn't turn in assignments and frequently "drifts off" in class, and she (for lack of a more delicate term) flipped out*. This has been a pattern with her son since 1st grade; however, Mrs. H is much more interested in blaming the teacher rather than addressing ways to help her son succeed. Last week, she spent hours in my classroom. Hours berating me for not suspending or retaining her son for his missing work; hours going through her son's extremely messy desk (in which we found numerous missing assignments); and hours sitting in the classroom so that she could make sure he finished an assignment and turned it in to the proper bin. Hence the name, Mrs. Helicopter. She hovers over her child so much that it's no wonder he's never learned to take responsibility for himself! When I voiced concerns about this, my words fell on deaf ears.
The final straw came when she pointed at me from across the table, red-faced with tears in her eyes and said, "I'm going to rip you apart for this one!" The issue she took such a strong objection to was that her son had not put the date on one of his papers. I calmly explained that when this happens, I have the child do "name practice" 5 times, putting name, date and assignment on the page. This was not good enough for her. She demonstrated what she would do by ripping up the paper and throwing the torn pieces on her child's desk. Then she spat out, "But you won't do that! You're too nice!"
*sigh*
After this episode, Mrs. H going through my other students' papers (something I never let parents do), yelling at a student in class while I was teaching, telling my substitute that she was allowed to stay in my room unsupervised with her son during lunch (she wanted to help him finish his test), and having the janitor let her into my room after school so that she could go through her son's desk and organize his things only served to increase my irritation. With the help of some extremely wonderful colleagues, I believe I have finally let Mrs. H know that she cannot come into the classroom and disrupt things in such a way. Unfortunately, she still does not understand that her child is a 5th grader and really needs to learn to take responsibility for his own schoolwork. At our meeting this afternoon she proudly stated, "I've told my son that if he's still not turning in his work in college, then I will be sitting right next to him there too, making sure he gets those assignments in!"
Some people just never learn....
* I send home missing assignment lists with my students every other week and require a parent signature on them, so Mrs. H should not be surprised by her son's low grades.
The final straw came when she pointed at me from across the table, red-faced with tears in her eyes and said, "I'm going to rip you apart for this one!" The issue she took such a strong objection to was that her son had not put the date on one of his papers. I calmly explained that when this happens, I have the child do "name practice" 5 times, putting name, date and assignment on the page. This was not good enough for her. She demonstrated what she would do by ripping up the paper and throwing the torn pieces on her child's desk. Then she spat out, "But you won't do that! You're too nice!"
*sigh*
After this episode, Mrs. H going through my other students' papers (something I never let parents do), yelling at a student in class while I was teaching, telling my substitute that she was allowed to stay in my room unsupervised with her son during lunch (she wanted to help him finish his test), and having the janitor let her into my room after school so that she could go through her son's desk and organize his things only served to increase my irritation. With the help of some extremely wonderful colleagues, I believe I have finally let Mrs. H know that she cannot come into the classroom and disrupt things in such a way. Unfortunately, she still does not understand that her child is a 5th grader and really needs to learn to take responsibility for his own schoolwork. At our meeting this afternoon she proudly stated, "I've told my son that if he's still not turning in his work in college, then I will be sitting right next to him there too, making sure he gets those assignments in!"
Some people just never learn....
* I send home missing assignment lists with my students every other week and require a parent signature on them, so Mrs. H should not be surprised by her son's low grades.
Ho Hum...I hope that the college dorm room can easily accommodate a puffed up Heli-mama!! Frik & frak! You totally ROCK, Ms. P....no one person can take away all the good you have done with your 30 students this year. Calgon take me away!
Good Lord! I think Mrs. Helicopter's son is a perfect candidate for home schooling. Because it sounds as if his mom butting in and playing teacher (more like crazy freak lady) in your classroom, has gained her some experience in that area.
Sheesh!
And uh, why doesn't she scold her kid for not following directions and not turning in assignments? My mom would sure do that to me! This was meant as a rhetorical question, by the way.
Mrs. Helicopter is a great name for her. But a little too nice a name.
I wish you had more students like I was. I was perfect and my mom was perfect too. We'd probably invite you to our house for dinner, like we did my 5th grade teacher.
Seriously though, this woman needs to GET A GRIP and also stop threatening my friend!
I just can;t believe how much abuse teachers take. It is unbelievable. Thank you for sticking in there!
WHAT??!?!??
One thing I did that helped parents like this was to send a note home each Friday (it sounds more labor intensive than it was--I'm lazy) with the work from the week that said,
This week you should find (and listed all the assignments). If it's not here, I've not received it.
This put all the responsibility on them and took it off of me.
And yes--a fifth grader needs to learn to FAIL now before it's to late. Mama can't be holding her little darling's hand forever.
I know parents like these make you question why you even bother teaching, but for every hell parent, there is at least one parent who truly appreciates all you do. And times like this should make you very thankful that you had such a perfect mother!
The horror! Welcome to my world! Have parents cussed you out yet? I am so sorry about this Jenni. A true horrible expereince and one you can never shake off. Want to help me write my novel so we don't have to deal with this? Remember you do have rights as a teacher. I had to learn the hard way. Hang in there. A couple more days then our break.
I haven't been cussed out yet, but last year I had a father who threatened me. It's kind of scary how some people think they can treat teachers. Although I'm sure nurses and other service providers get treated badly too. It just stinks. We should get "hazard pay" for having to deal with some of these things! Oops! I forgot - there's a budget crisis and we're all getting a 4 percent pay decrease instead!
And the state of California wonders why it is so hard to retain new teachers....
Blimey, wow um what an "example" of parenting. Poor you having to deal with that!
And, um, as someone who teaches College kids lets just say parents are not welcome!!!
Oh my word. I can't believe that. People can be crazy!
Um, ah, um, ah...
Holy Cow!!!
"Get out of my class!" would have been my words when she started in on the other kids work!
Oh MY!!!
Good luck with that one!!!!
That is just down right sad! I don't think I would have dealt with that as well as you did.
In one book I read, the author tells the mom that if her child is not doing what he/she should in school, to threaten to go follow him/her around all day. The author also told about a mom who had threatened this and the child had straightened up fairly quickly in fear of the mom following through. A key difference, I believe, is that the child was older, to the point where he/she would have been very embarrassed to have mom following him/her around school all day.
That's a tough job. Hang in there. We need more good teachers like you.
and this is part of the reason teaching as a profession sucks now. parents like that suck the life out of you