Elle wrote an interesting post over at
Unexpected Miracles which encouraged me to enter into the debate about kids' names. When we began the process of adopting our kids, I was often asked, "Are you going to keep their Russian names?" My response to this question was, "Probably not." I conceded that we might keep their Russian names as middle names, but secretly, I planned on changing the whole thing. You see, I have been selecting names for my kids since I was 5. I had a whole list that I had been maintaining, through the years, with certain names scratched out and others added as they fell in and out of favor. I knew, without a doubt, that I would select the perfect names for my children.
When I was a young child, the names I picked for my future children were "Jonathan" and "Gayle," although I was also quite fond of "Joyce." As I grew, my name preferences changed. During my teen years, I went through a whole western phase: "Colton" for a boy and "Cheyenne" for a girl. When it finally came time for Jeff and I to start our family, my grandmother had passed away, so I was positive that I would be using a shortened version of her name, Rosemarie, in my daughter's name. The name I chose was "Kennedy Rose." This preference did not change for several years. For a boy, my list was a bit longer, but my favorite was "Lincoln James." Of course, that brought the problem of having two kids named after assassinated presidents. You know the whole, "Lincoln had a secretary named Kennedy, and Kennedy had a secretary named Lincoln" thing. So, I had "Adelaide" as a second choice for a girl and "Colin" as my boy emergency back-up.
There was only one small snag. Jeff hated all my boy names. He thought of a variety of malicious ways other kids would pick on our son because of his name, and nixed every single selection on my list. Finally, in frustration, I said, "Why don't you pick a name then?!" He chose one name, and one name only: Eamon (pronounced "A-mun"). So, our new name choice for a boy was "Eamon James."
However, life has a way of changing your plans. A few years back, Jeff's mother was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of cancer. During her brief battle with the disease, we became pregnant, and I felt very strongly that if the child was a girl, we should give her Jeff's mom's name, Ina (pronounced "Ee-nah") for a middle name. While Ina was in the hospital, I told her of our name plans. She smiled and said, with as much enthusiasm as she could muster while under the influence of morphine, "I think that's a great idea!" Ina passed away a few days later, and not long after that, I lost the baby. However, our decision to honor Ina by naming our daughter after her remained, making our new name choice for a girl, "Kennedy Ina."
Of course, all this time, we were planning on adopting an infant and a toddler. Children with short pasts, who had not really grown accustomed to their names. I even began lifebooks with their new names. Then we got the referral for a 4 year old girl named Viktoria (Vika for short) and a nearly 3 year old boy named Nikolay. Frankly, Vika's Russian nickname (pronounced "Vee-kah") fit her much better than Kennedy did, and since she was older and knew her Russian family, we felt that it was important for her to keep that connection with them. After all, her name and a cross around her neck (from the baptism her great grandmother had performed on her), were all Vika had left from her Russian family. For similar reasons, we decided to keep Eamon's Russian name as his middle name, thus making our two children, Victoria Ina and Eamon Nikolay.
In the end, I didn't wind up choosing either of my kids' names. Am I disappointed by this? A little. However, while my kids names never appeared on any of my lists, they fit them perfectly in every way. The idea of Vika being named Kennedy now seems absurd. That's just not her. I do still like the name Lincoln James though, and perhaps someday if we adopt again or get pregnant (perish the thought!), I might get my little Linc after all.
How do you feel about the name game? Did you, or do you plan on keeping your child's birth-name? Or have you selected a new name, to go along with the child's new life?
