Four Feet More

Our dock on lake Tahoe

After driving home from Tucson, I was understandably very tired and not really looking forward to the Tahoe vacation I had planned with the girls for the week after we got home.  They wanted to drive out at 9 pm Tuesday night, which would mean a 1 am arrival in Tahoe, and just the thought of it made my head ache.  I guess I'm getting old.  But, since I had agreed to this trip months ago, I decided to "take one for the team" and follow their plans.  I'm glad I did, because it wound up being a very relaxing and fun getaway.

In all my 25 years of living in California, I had never really been to Tahoe before.  Sure, I'd gone up for a day-trip to a ski resort, and visited briefly for my mom's wedding, but on those trips I had not actually seen Lake Tahoe, nor had I gotten a good feel for what Tahoe was like.  That all changed after this mini-break.  The plan was for us to stay at a lake house being rented by Jaime's step-dad, Bob.  We all pictured a rustic dwelling and planned accordingly.  I brought pillows and even a roll of eco-friendly toilet paper.  As we got closer to the property, it began to look as if the house wouldn't be as rustic as we had assumed.  We pulled into the driveway of a modest, wooden dwelling in front of which Bob was waiting for us.  It was dark, so I couldn't see much of the house, but it looked serviceable enough.  And I could rough it for a few days, no big deal. 

It turned out that the dwelling I was looking at was actually just the garage.  As we walked into the house, it quickly became apparent that the eco-friendly toilet paper I brought would not be needed.  Simply put, the house was HUGE.  The kitchen itself was as big as my entire living room and the back wall was made up entirely of windows overlooking the lake.  The main living room was dominated by a stone fireplace two-stories high and it was off of this room that my bedroom was located.  I got my own private room, complete with a sitting area and bathroom.  James got her own room with bathroom and deck overlooking the lake, and Mel and Am shared a room downstairs which had their own private living room, bathroom and pool table.  We all looked around the place in slack-jawed amazement.  Once Bob left us alone, Jaime and I squealed like little girls, jumping up and down in excitement over our rooms.  Mel and Am kept saying how this was insane, and the four of us decided that we could easily just spend our entire break holed up in the house.  

The view of our house from the dock

 But of course, that was not what we came to Tahoe for, so we compromised.  Our mornings were spent lazing around the house, having breakfast at one of the tables located on the property and looking out at the lake.  During the afternoon, we would do an activity exploring Tahoe.  The first day, it was a hike to Vikingsholm, a Scandanavian-inspired property on Emerald Bay.  The trail seemed easy enough, but the views of the beach soon lured us off the trail and down to the shore.  We had lunch near a group of rocks and were befriended by a very bold chipmunk who actually caught in his hands a squishy grape that James threw away.  This chipmunk was skilled.  After lunch, we attempted to find our way back to the trail, without success - we were lost.  Fortunately, we could follow the shoreline all the way to Vikingsholm.  Unfortunately, the shoreline was littered with fallen trees that we had to clamber over, and a plant rehabilitation area which we unknowingly stomped through.   Felling like very bad humans, we eventually make it to our destination, enjoyed the beauty of the area, and then correctly followed the trail back to our car.  That night we were a bit exhausted from the exertions of the day, so we had dinner in and watched "Footloose' on the big-screen TV before heading to bed.

James, Mel, Am and I with our bikes

On our second day in Tahoe we rented bikes and rode around the lake.  It was beautiful and on bike we were able to explore areas we could not get to by car.  That night we headed to a casino where we watched "Artie" (Party with Artie) perform dance hits to a group of drunken girls at a bachelorette party.  There was also this Swedish girl who kept walking around the dance floor with one arm raised high (as if she were saluting the casino) and the other hand holding a glass of wine.  It was very strange and Artie seemed to be enjoying the show on the dance floor as much as we were. 

The next day, Friday, was our last day in Tahoe.  After a morning breakfast, enjoying the view of our dock and the blue waters beyond, we packed up and headed into town to see "Eat, Pray, Love" (which I didn't really like, BTW.   Despite her year-long search for enlightenment, it seemed to me that Liz learned NOTHING and was was as self-absorbed in the end as she was at the beginning of the story.  I didn't read the book though, so maybe I missed something).  The movie was followed by an excellent dinner - we had nothing but great food in Tahoe - and the long drive home.  Even though I wasn't looking forward to this trip so close on the heels of our Tucson vacation, I'm glad I went.  It was a great time out with the girls and gave us all the chance to relax and explore without the normal distractions of a vacation with the kids.  I definitely plan to go back, next time with Jeff and the kids, to share some of the adventures I had with the girls.  I suppose our lodging will be a bit more rustic the next time around though.  :)

Me, James and Mel on our deck

I'm back.  Did you miss me?  I've been gone for much of the month, and it feels nice to be home, settled back into our normal routines.  I did have a couple of great vacations though, the first of which was a road trip to Arizona with the family.

We left early on July 30th and drove all day to Tucson, Arizona - my home town.  It was a 13-hour drive, but the kids did great.  It's amazing how much a portable DVD player can reduce the "are we there yet?" nonsense.  We arrived in Tucson around 8pm, and met up with my mom and Ed at their time-share resort in the foothills.  It is a beautiful place, and if you can ignore the solpugids that wander into your room, it's quite relaxing.

Gila Woodpecker on an ocotillo

We spent many of our mornings sitting on the porch, watching the local wildlife, which was made up mostly of birds.  We were fortunate in that the first few days were cooler due to recent monsoon storms, and there were plenty of birds out.  A covey of quail visited our porch daily, a mother cardinal fed her baby in a nearby Palo Verde, and Morning Doves, cactus wrens and Gila Woodpeckers perched on the ocotillo and saguaros out back.  There were also occasional cottontails, trying to blend in with the desert sand, numerous lizards, and during the nighttime, a herd of javelinas that visited the grounds around our room.  Vika and Eamon had a great time exploring the Sonoran Desert and trying to lure in animals for a pet or two.

Family at Midway Molina's

While watching desert wildlife was a huge part of our trip, the reason we went down to Tucson was family.  Our second night in town we had dinner with the cousins at Midway Molina's - a truly great Mexican restaurant with the best cheese crisps in the world.  We caught up on each others' lives, met new family members and remembered my great aunt Mary, who passed away in June.  This was the first time that Vika and Eamon had met many of the family members, and fortunately, they made a good impression.  It is a bit sad to see how the Arizona family has changed though.  It seems that all we have left now are cousins because the older generation has all passed on, and others (including us) have moved away.  The family I grew up with simply no longer exists.  But the new family that is evolving in its place is pretty cool too, and hopefully Vika and Eamon will grow up with fond memories of them.

Old friends catching up

In Tucson, I also had the opportunity to visit my oldest friend, Kathy.  She and I have been friends since the age of 5, and much of my childhood was spent at her house.  Through Facebook, I have reconnected with other childhood friends as well, one of whom was Howard, a boy I played soccer with and who was a good friend to both me and my brother Joe.  Howard goes by Jason now (I think Howard was his middle name), but despite the name change and goatee, he looks exactly the same!  It was strange and cool to see him after 25 years.  He, Kathy and I met up at a local park and chatted about our lives now and old times while Jeff and the kids played.  Vika and Eamon loved Kathy's dog, Dookie, even though her enthusiasm sometimes resulted in them being dragged around the park.  They also liked meeting these friends from my past, and we all had a fun afternoon together.

Me, my sisters, mom and Eamon

The highlight of the trip was having dinner with my sisters and their families.  What?  You didn't know I had sisters?  Well, neither did my kids.  Basically, I have three half-sisters from my dad's first marriage.  I didn't really meet them until after my mom and dad split up, but once they got divorced, my sisters were over all the time.  In fact, they kind of adopted my mom as a member of their family.  Sadly, after my mom married her second husband and we moved to California, we didn't see the girls as often and drifted further apart.  In fact, it has been 6 years since I saw them last, and they had not yet met Vika and Eamon, so this reunion was one we were all looking forward too.  And it was a great time!  We met up with two of my sisters, Kelly and Traci, at Kelly's house out in Marana.  She lives on 5 acres, seemingly in the middle of nowhere, and has a bunch of dogs and two horses.  When Vika saw them, her eyes grew wide and she could hardly contain her joy.  She loves horses, but has never before been near a real one.  Eamon was very excited too, and before you knew it, Kelly and her husband Jake had the kids mounted up on horseback and were leading them around the property.  Both kids were in heaven, and I took about a thousand pictures during their 45-minute ride.  During this time, my nephew Andy (who is in his 20's and a firefighter) taught Jeff how to use a lasso, and he later gave Eamon some lessons as well.  After the ride, the kids fed the horses and we all went inside.

Vika pretending to go for a ride

All of us except Eamon and Jake, that is.  Jake has a golf cart which he drives around his property, and after taking Eamon for a spin in the vehicle, he got out from behind the wheel and said, "You want to try driving this thing?"  Naturally, Eamon shrilled an excited "YES!" and the driving lessons began.  I was too nervous to watch, so I went inside, crossed my fingers and hoped for the best.  Eamon came back a while later, safe and sound, and bubbling over with the thrill of driving his first car.  Vika was slightly jealous, but was soon distracted by the many Chihuahuas around the property.  Kelly does Chihuahua rescue and Vika connected to one dog in particular, a blue teacup named Willie.  I actually fell for this dog too and wanted to smuggle him home in my purse, but Kelly kept too sharp an eye on him.  Dang it.

The best thing about this night with my sisters, and the whole trip to Tucson really, was the relaxed feeling of not needing to be anything other than who you are.  My kids were able to play around and be noisy children, and I didn't need to worry about them getting in the way or offending anybody.  Things are a bit slower down there then they are in the Bay Area, and since were were on vacation, we had no major schedule to stick too.  It was as if I could truly take a deep breath and relax.  What a wonderful feeling.  The day-trips to Mission San Xavier and Mt. Lemmon, an evening at Trail Dust Town (complete with Western stunt show and dinner at my favorite restaurant, Pinnacle Peak), and the discovery of Ethiopian food (who knew they had such a great African restaurant in Tucson?), all made the trip a memorable one.

Family at Pinnacle Peak for dinner

In front of Mission San Xavier del Bac

This week's You Capture theme was black and white, which I loved for vain reasons. Simply put, I look better in black and white. But, since I'm not vain enough to put a bunch of photos of myself up here, I wasn't quite sure what to photograph at first. Then I went through my photos from our recent beach trip. My two best friends and extended family were there to celebrate a birthday, and the weather was beautiful (not always the case at a Northern California beach). We made the most of the sunshine until the afternoon fog rolled in, and we all had to bundle up in our warm clothes.

Here I am with my two best friends, James and Mel. We were very color-coordinated that day, and it was entirely unplanned. I guess that's what happens when people hang together for too long - they start dressing the same (even though they couldn't be more different in other ways).


Vix and Eames on the beach. We have a photo similar to this one from their first summer home with us. I always call it "A Study in Contrast" because Vika looks so dark and Eamon looks so pale! At least this time the boy's got a bit of a tan, so he doesn't look as washed out next to Vika.

This is Mel's daughter, Madi. Or as I call her, Mad. This girl is cute as a button and more trouble than a fox in a hen-house. She saw another child's sand castle and gleefully smashed every single tower with her dainty little hands. Luckily it had been abandoned, so the architect of the castle did not have to witness its destruction.

There's no real way to sugar-coat this, but the kids are driving me insane! Sure, I enjoy spending time with them, but all those Summer projects I planned on doing... well between, "Mama, what's for snack?" and "Mama, Eamon's not getting out of my room when I asked him to!" and "Mama, can we watch TV?", not a lot of projects are getting done. So, when Mel invited us to play at a new park in her area, I jumped at the chance (even though it's more than an hour drive away). Anything to get the kids running around, and hopefully exhausted, so that I can have a little quiet time to myself later. Being able to hang with my best friends, Mel and James, was an added bonus!

On the last day of school (which was Wednesday - YAY!), I agreed to watch another teacher's pet walking stick, Sharpie. In his brief life, Sharpie has suffered a lot of trauma, and... well... to make a long story short, he now only has 5 legs.

But Sharpie's a little trooper, and I agreed to "bugsit" the stick, thinking it would be fun for Vika and Eamon.

I was wrong. Vika immediately tipped over Sharpie's enclosure, dumping his log and lettuce everywhere. Luckily, he was clinging to the grate at the top of his pen and didn't really seem to notice. But ever since, I've been a bit stressed about injuring (or killing) the already disabled insect. I've put him up on a shelf, out of reach of both child and cat, and am just hoping for the best.

This morning, as I went to check on the insect, I saw what appeared to be a shriveled up, quite dead, stick bug laying on the log.

"Oh my God, I killed Sharpie!" I cried out, panic setting in and plans quickly forming in my mind of where I could find another five-legged walking stick to replace this one.

When I opened the lid to investigate, there was Sharpie, hanging from his usual place on the grate, wondering what all the fuss was about.

Apparently, walking sticks shed their skin. So, the shriveled up bug was actually an old epidermis my little friend no longer needed.

Friggin' insect!

I finished this book last night, and I'm still not quite sure how I feel about it. While the ending was hopeful, I guess wanted it to be a bit happier. The story did make me look at the Afghan community differently though and made me start thinking about a group of Afghan friends I had in high school.

I spent my teen years in the city of Fremont, California, which is where a portion of The Kite Runner takes place. It was strange to read about streets and locations which used to be part of my everyday life. Lake Elizabeth, which is mentioned a few times in the book, is the park where I spent endless weekends both playing and coaching soccer. It was through soccer that I came in close contact with Fremont's Afghan community. My brother was on a traveling team with 3 Afghan guys who were all extremely talented soccer players. Mo, Fo, and Obaid were also very funny and became great friends to both my brother and myself. Obaid came over to our house all the time and his mother would frequently send us Afghan food to sample. These were strange dishes featuring a lot of cinnamon and cilantro, and I didn't really enjoy them. It wasn't until later that I found out Obaid's mother was not the best cook, and her meals were a poor representation of Afghan food (which is actually quite good). Mo, Fo and Obaid would talk endlessly about Afghanistan and their dreams of returning there once the country returned to normal (this was both during and shortly after the Soviet occupation). Their memories of Afghanistan were much like those of The Kite Runner's main character, Amir.

Towards the end of my friendship with these guys, things took a turn into uncomfortable territory. For about 6 months, I had a crush on Fo (short for Fowad). While not tall, he was dark and handsome. More importantly, he was the best soccer player of my age I had ever met. This guy did things on the field that I had only seen professional soccer players do, and I was smitten. Then one day Mo and Fo said to me, "You would make a good Muslim wife." They approved of the fact that I didn't drink alcohol or eat pork (I was 17 and going through a vegetarian phase). They also would say things when they came over to our house such as, "Now, if you were an Afghan woman, you would get us something to eat and drink" (instead, I had plopped down onto the couch next to them without even asking if they were hungry). These comments slowly doused the torch I had been carrying for Fo, but unfortunately, both his and Mo's interest seemed to be kindled.

My first inkling that they were interested in more than friendship came when Mo began calling me every night. In between discussions about soccer and school, he would insert comments about how much I would like Afghanistan and how he'd like to show me his country someday. My suspicions were confirmed when he asked me out to a movie and dinner. As I climbed into his car, I was still trying to delude myself into thinking this was just a friendly outing. The gift he gave me of a gold necklace with a heart charm (surrounding a "J") pretty much jolted me out of my state of denial. While he was a complete gentleman, the date wound up killing my friendship with Mo. I was just wasn't attracted to him in that way and, stupid teenager that I was, I began avoiding him.

This was when Fo moved in. While we were away at a soccer tournament, he took me aside to sit next to him on the ledge of a fountain. He was nervously fiddling with a piece of paper in his hand, which he explained was a poem he had written. Would I like to hear it? I warily said yes, and then listened in silence as he read flowery phrases about a woman he had come to adore. After he was done, he looked at me meaningfully and asked if I liked the poem. "Yeah, it was good!" I replied, pretending to be oblivious, and then I got up and walked briskly away. Poor guy. His poem, while very sweet, marked the death of any lingering attraction I had felt for him. It reminds me of the following conversation from Pride and Prejudice:

Mr. Darcy: I thought that poetry was the food of love.

Elizabeth Bennet: Of a fine stout love, it may. But if it is only a vague inclination I'm convinced one poor sonnet will kill it stone dead.

Over the years since I last saw Mo, Fo, and Obaid, I have wondered about them frequently. Especially after the events of September 11th and America's battle against the Taliban in Afghanistan. I hoped that none of them had returned to their home country and that any family they had still living there were OK. About 5 years ago, I ran into Mo in the bar of a local restaurant. He was actually sitting at the bar, having a drink! I wasn't sure he would remember me, so I walked past, casting him covert glances. However, he did recognize both me and my mom (who I was having dinner with), and came to our table to say "Hi." He said his family was doing well and laughed at my surprise about him drinking alcohol. When mom asked him if he still wanted to return to Afghanistan he replied, "We're too corrupt for them now!" It was good to see that despite my awkward rejection of him, Mo harbored no ill feelings and was still the same funny guy he'd always been.

Even though I'm not sure how much I liked The Kite Runner, I did enjoy the memories it brought to mind. I gained a new understanding of friends whom I have not seen in a long time, and have begun to look at the city where I spent my teen years bit differently. Who knows? Maybe someday in the future I'll find myself at Lake Elizabeth again, this time with Jeff, Vika and Eamon, watching colorful kites flying in the air.

It all started Sunday evening, right as I was about to settle in for a night of Oscars magic (Yay "Slumdog Millionaire!"). I went to change the desktop on my Mac, and the System Preferences panel was all squished. No problem, I thought. I'll just reboot it and see if that fixes the problem.

Big mistake.

My computer would not reboot. It kept getting hung up before the desktop was loaded, and nothing Jeff and I did could solve the problem. It wasn't long before I was in full-fledged panic mode. No internet, no files, and worst of all, NO GRADEBOOK! This trimester is up next Friday, so losing all my grades was a complete disaster! Frantically, I grabbed my Blackberry and began logging into my e-mail and Facebook. It was the only way I could feel somewhat connected to the outside world. I posted a distress signal of sorts as my Facebook status, and my good friend J9 answered the call. Her husband (JP1) is an IT guy for a local biotech company, and fortunately, he was more than willing to help out.

Now, 3 days later, and a lot on work on JP1's part, I have my computer back! He was able to rescue almost all my files, including my grades, replaced the hard drive for me, and put in Mac's newest operating system! Needless to say, I think he may be my new hero. Batman's got nothing on JP1!

I'll finish this post up with a little Public Service Announcement: Back up your computer. Frequently. Let my story be a cautionary tale to those of you out there who, like me, find reasons why you don't have the time to back up your files. You'll thank me later.

Since I'm still getting over my cold, and feeling too lazy to write anything of substance, I thought I'd post a few fun things that were sent to me recently by friends.

The first is this Geek Soap, which you can buy on Etsy. J9 sent me the link, and I think it would be perfect for Matte (who proposed to Cathy wearing a "geek" T-shirt). Be sure to read through the entire product description.

The second is from a "See Dee" sent to Vika and Eamon by Michelle. This is by far the kids' favorite song (an a capella Star Wars/John Williams tribute), and they've been listening to it over, and over, and over again.... enjoy!

For all the conflicting emotions I’ve been having about school lately, this week my colleagues did something so touching, that I think my heart actually may have grown two sizes bigger.

Remember my student, “Peter?” Well, he’s still a challenge for me every day. But I really like the kid. He’s completely honest and while his ADHD is one of the most severe cases I’ve ever seen, he genuinely wants to do well. He just doesn’t always have control of himself. Adding to this is the fact that he and his mother are homeless. They fled an abusive father in another state and have been staying at various homeless shelters in our area since September. One shelter was clear across town, and Peter walked 2 hours, in the chilly morning air, to get to school. His determination to attend class amazed me. But I also felt bad that he had to walk so far, and for so long. I mentioned to him that there might be another school closer to the shelter that he could go to, so that way he wouldn’t have to walk so far. Peter looked up at me with a slightly panicked expression and said, “But I don’t want to go to another school. I want to stay here.”

It was then that I realized that our school, and my class, is probably the only consistency he has in his life. And I could see how important that was to him. I quickly assured Peter that I didn’t want him to go to another school either, but that I didn’t like the idea of him having to walk so far. Soon afterwards, he and his mother began renting a room in the apartment where another student lives.

Despite his big heart and good intentions, Peter constantly gets into trouble, and as a result, spends a lot of time in the office. The school secretary (L) and clerk (M) have gotten to know him quite well, and L even served him dinner once while volunteering at a local homeless shelter. The three of us often talk about Peter and his situation, and while he drives us nuts sometimes, it’s clear that we all feel a certain fondness for him as well.

On Thursday, when I was in the office doing some work, M came up to me and said that there was a green duffle bag for Peter by her desk. I went to get it, thinking it was his things from the shelter, but instead found that it was an enormous duffle bag filled with clothing and a new backpack. L and M had collected various items for Peter to give him for the holidays. They also had a bag containing a shiny wrapped gift for Peter (it was a basketball) and another Christmas gift for his mother (a warm sweatshirt). I was completely stunned by their generosity. The fact that they took the time to get these things and help make the holidays brighter for him and his mother left me speechless (no easy feat), and I stood in the office sputtering for a moment, trying to find words to express my gratitude. M just smiled and shook her head, so I loaded myself up with the packages and went back to class to deliver them to Peter.

When I handed the duffle bag to Peter, he was confused. “What’s this?” he asked. “I’m not sure.” I replied. “It looks like Santa may have come a bit early this year.” Understanding slowly dawned on his face, and Peter broke into a big smile. On Friday, he came to school proudly spinning the new basketball on his finger (and laughed at me when I protested that he wasn’t supposed to open the gift until Christmas).

Even though they don’t know of this blog’s existence, I’d like to publicly applaud L and M. They not only made a difference in this boy’s life, but they reminded me of how lucky I am to work with such wonderful people. It was an amazing Christmas moment – one I won’t ever forget.

I learned some very sad news this week. The American Musical Theatre of San Jose, the theater company where I worked for10 years, filed for bankruptcy and will be closing its doors for good. This is a company that has been producing shows in the Bay Area for 73 years! They survived the Great Depression, but were not able to survive some bad decisions made during the current economic crisis. It is the end of an era, and a chapter of my life that I am extremely reluctant to close (even though I haven’t worked there since bringing the kids home).

Many of the best times of my life were spent backstage, in the dark, helping create the magic unfolding for the audience on stage. I worked as a dresser, taking care of costumes and assisting actors with their “quick changes.” As Jeff once put it to a family member who asked, “What do you DO in that theater?” - “She hangs out in the dark, dressing gay men.” Which was only partially true. I also dressed women on occasion. But the men’s chorus members were much more fun.

During much of my time with AMT, I was an admin at Stanford University. By day, I worked with a group of stuffy physicians (with a few exceptions) who walked around in overly starched lab coats, worried about their next manuscript. When 5:00 pm came, I couldn’t leave my mauve and gray cubicle fast enough! I’d make the hour-long drive to San Jose, grab some dinner, and enter an entirely different world. A place flowing with creativity, where people laughed at themselves and were less inhibited. A place where people accepted you for who you were, quirks and all. A place where people had FUN. I’d often smile to myself, wondering what the doctors would think if they caught a glimpse of my backstage life.

Some of my favorite people in the world came into my life because of AMT: Cathy, Steph and Andy – my “Theatre Sisters” (and yes, Andy is a guy, but he’s still one of my “sisters” and always will be). Matty, Rickey, Liz, Jeff, Kari, and Val. We bonded over harried costume changes, hours of ironing men’s shirts and steaming women’s gowns, and the general craziness that happens backstage. Our required uniform of dark clothing earned us the nickname, “Chicks in Black.” I received my second marriage proposal at AMT, from a gay chorus member I was dressing, and whom I suspect secretly had a crush on Jeff. It was also my AMT sisters who taught me how to knit. We were working on a production of “A Chorus Line,” which is boring as hell for dressers. We had ONE costume change, at the very end of the show. The two hours before that change were quite a lot to fill, so we all knitted, while the lead actor (playing the role of “Zach”) danced for us in front of his dressing room.

I have so many fond memories of my time with AMT, but here are a few that really stick out:
• Flashing “Carlotta” as she left the stage from one of her big scenes in “Phantom.” The Carlotta madness began with a simple burp, but escalated each night as the group of us waiting backstage to do our next change thought of new ways to shock her when she walked past. Towards the end of the run, a small crowd had gathered to see what we would do. The pressure was really on, so we decided to flash her. A member of the men’s chorus made the prank when he stood, bare-bottomed, reading a newspaper. It was so unexpected that the actress playing Carlotta burst out laughing – it was the only time we were able to get her to break character.
• Watching the men’s ensemble perform the “Sally Simpson” scene from “The Who’s Tommy.” They looked very, very good in their pleather uniforms. (of course, peeling the sweaty things off of them after the scene ended wasn’t as much fun)
• Working with Jamie Torcellini – when he wasn’t performing for the audience, he would be doing a separate show for the cast and crew watching in the wings backstage. It was his mission each night to make someone laugh on stage and break character.
• Hanging out in the men's chorus room backstage – there was always so much going on in there, and in such an uninhibited fashion, that it was quite an eye-opening experience for a sweet, innocent girl like me.

I’m so grateful for my time with the American Musical Theatre of San Jose, and for the opportunity I had to work with so many wonderful people. Hopefully another company will step in to try and fill the big void AMT has left behind. And hopefully, someday in the not-too-distant future, I’ll be backstage, hanging with my theatre sisters once again.

The dressers for AMT's production of Funny Girl - The Center for Performing Arts in San Jose, 2004

Summer is officially over. Today, Vika and I go back to school, and for the first time, Eamon is joining us. He starts kindergarten today! Dang kids are growing up too fast.

In memory of summer, I leave you with this video from our recent day at the beach (on August 8th - hence the date in the sand) with Mel and her family.

Please take note of Eamon's superior hula hooping skilz!

In my last post, I hinted at some surprising news – and no, it is not that my mom is pregnant (although that WOULD be surprising). Sorry. That's kind of a family joke right now since two other women in my family are pregnant with due dates ON THE SAME DAY. One of them happens to be my sister-in-law, so I'm going to be an Auntie! YAY!!! But I digress....

A few weeks ago, I was checking my e-mail and noticed a message with this in the subject line: "Friend of Vika!" I cautiously opened the message. There are all kinds of weird searches that lead to this blog having to do with the name Vika ("Vika feet," "naked Vika," etc. - is there a Russian adult film star named Vika?), and I felt a bit concerned that this message might be related to those searches. But, much to my relief and surprise, the person sending the mail actually believed she might know Vika.

Her name is Michelle, and she adopted her two kids from Murmansk, Russia ecaxtly a year before we adopted ours. When she and her husband were visiting their children in the orphanage, they noticed another little girl in their daughter Alina's group room. This girl had olive skin, dark hair and dark eyes, and was named Vika. She and Alina were best friends, and between trips, the orphanage staff took many photos of the two playing together. Michelle said that Vika had the same special spark that her own kids had, and that she and her husband had thought of her often after bringing their children home. They even considered trying to adopt her for a time, but realized they had their hands full with their two children, and so did not pursue the idea.

Earlier this summer, Michelle sent a message to Tatiana, the orphanage director at the child's home, asking about Vika and whether or not she had been adopted. If Vika had been adopted, she requested that her contact info be forwarded to the adoptive family. Alina missed Vika, and Michelle hoped that there might be a chance of reconnecting the two little girls. Knowing it would take quite a while to receive a response from Tatiana, Michelle decided to do a quick Google search on "Vika" and "Murmansk." On the first page of results was this blog. After looking through it a bit, she became convinced that my Vika was the one she had been searching for, and she decided to contact me by e-mail.

After reading her message, I was a bit stunned. Could it be the same Vika? I wasn't sure, but Michelle quickly sent another message with photos, and it became obvious that the Vika she remembered and our daughter were the same person.

The photos Michelle sent are amazing. They offer a glimpse into Vika's life at the orphanage that we had not seen before. It is also amazing to hear about the friendship between Vika and Alina. Vika has either blocked out or chooses not to talk about much of her time spent in the orphanage. She can give a variety of details about her birth family, but is surprisingly tight-lipped about what her life was like when she was not with her birth mother or Russian babushka. I do know that for much of her last year in the Child’s Home, she felt lost and alone. This was the time period after Alina had been adopted – Vika was separated from Eamon, who still lived in the Baby Home, and the visits by her birth family were becoming less and less frequent. It must have been a painful time, and it’s no wonder that Vika chooses not to relive it.

I do remember one time, shortly after we brought Vika home, when I showed Vika a picture that was taken at the orphanage of her and another little girl. I asked Vika if this was her friend, but she shrugged and said, “Nyet.” Then she said the name “Alina.” At the time, I took it to mean that the girl in the photo was named Alina. But now I think Vika was trying to tell me that Alina was her friend, not the girl in the picture. Unfortunately, her English was limited, as was my Russian, so we weren’t able to discuss this further.

It is amazing to think that through the internet, Alina and Vika have been reunited once again. Alina lives on the East Coast, so we can’t get together for play dates, but the girls have begun to exchange letters, and Michelle and I are planning a phone call between the two. While Vika's memories of the orphanage are hazy, she is very excited that Alina found her. It’s an unexpected connection to Vika’s past that, along with the birth family search, helps us piece together more of her life before joining our family. I’m glad Michelle found us, and look forward to continued contact between Vika and Alina.

Below are a few of the photos Michelle sent. Click on any image to view it larger. You can also read Michelle's blog post about Alina and Vika here.

Vika and Alina at the Child’s Home in Murmansk

Vika at age 3

Vika (far right) playing in the snow with other children at her orphanage (this is my favorite picture – she looks like a little Eskimo!)

Thank you all for the background info you provided before I went to see "Sex and the City" on Friday. It helped me make sense of the plot-lines. They also showed a brief history blurb on each character at the beginning of the movie, to help fill in the gaps.

Now, on to the movie - despite never having seen the show before, I liked it. I enjoyed the relationship between the girls, and during some scenes, I laughed until tears were streaming down my face. My favorite character was Charlotte - first because she adopted her daughter from China and second because she was so naive that she balanced the worldliness of the others. She also provided the funniest moment of the movie, bar none! Samantha, as one of you said, was WAY over the top! I found Miranda a bit annoying, but I liked Carrie's character. I also loved Jennifer Hudson. Her character and Carrie had a great relationship that seemed very genuine. I can't say much without giving away the story to those of you who did not see the film last weekend, so I won't go into any plot lines.

I must admit that I don't see the appeal of Mr. Big. I probably have to watch the show to appreciate him more. I also do not understand the fashion choices of the girls. I mean, who wears stilettos when going on a beach resort vacation? OK, my grandma once wore pumps when we took her to the beach, but she kept sinking into the sand with each step, and I assure you that for her, the day was not a relaxing one.

These small complaints aside, "Sex and the City" was a great movie to see with the girls. There were several groups just like ours at the restaurant before the show, sitting in the audience of the theater, and at the bar afterwards. The bar was having a special "Sex and the City" deal, where they took $1 off the regular price of a Cosmopolitan. However, since the regular price was TEN DOLLARS, I passed (am I just cheap, or does that sound like a high price for a drink?). Despite our lack of cosmos, my friends and I had a great time together. We chatted up a storm, irritated the elderly couple next to us at the restaurant (sorry nice-looking elderly couple!), and shared some very inappropriate laughter at the misfortunes of a girl in the bathroom (it took us by surprise and we couldn't help it!).

Up next on our agenda, "Mamma Mia!" I can't wait to see Meryl Streep belt out the title number.

Did any of you see "Sex and the City?" What did you think? What other movies are you looking forward to this summer?

Jeff and I met when I was 19. I was working as a “kennel girl” in a local pet hospital, and he was the UPS driver who delivered our supplies. I was attracted to him the moment I saw him. How could I not be, when he strutted around so confidently in those cute little brown shorts and boots? I even once made my way to a coffee shop near the pet hospital where he was making a delivery in an attempt to “cross paths” and get his attention. Much to my dismay, the plan didn’t work.

After I became a receptionist at the pet hospital, I saw Jeff on a more regular basis. At first his brooding intensity captivated me, in a Mr. Darcy kind of way. My friend Mel and I decided to make it our personal mission to get him to crack a smile. All efforts failed, and the “brooding intensity” thing quickly lost its appeal.

Then, in the summer after I graduated from college, everything changed. My friends and I went to Miyake’s, a wild sushi restaurant near Stanford where a disco ball hung from the ceiling and patrons stood on their chairs doing “sake bombs” as servers and diners cheered them on. Unbeknownst to Mel and I, our antics were being observed. The next day at work, the “UPS Man” (or “Mr. Personality” as we had snarkily begun calling him) walked in, looked at us with a poker face and said, “Ichi, ni, san! Sake bomb!” Our jaws dropped to the floor and I believe I turned about a thousand shades of red. This marked the turning point in our relationship. Jeff began talking to me and Mel, and we soon discovered the he wasn’t a brooding type of person at all. He had been treated pretty rudely by our boss on several occasions (she wasn’t that nice of a person), and therefore made his visits to the pet hospital as brief and impersonal as possible.

It wasn’t long before Jeff decided to ask for my phone number. He went to the payphone around the corner from the pet hospital and called the front desk. He had some romantic thing planned, I’m sure, but Mel saw him in the phone booth on her way into work. In her forthright manner, she asked him what he was doing, decided he was going to ask me out, and then rushed into the reception area saying, “Jen, you’re relieved. I’m taking the front desk. Go outside to the phone booth now!” At that same moment, my rude boss looked at me with a smirk and said, “Jenni, the ‘ups man’ is on the phone for you.”

The rest, as they say, is history. Jeff and I began dating not long after, and with the exception of one 24-hour period when we broke-up, have been together ever since.

During our whole “getting-to-know-you” phase, I was shocked to learn that Jeff was 10 1/2 years older than me. He certainly didn’t look it, and, if I’m honest, didn’t really act it either. I decided that he was a nice enough guy that I would bend my personal rule about not dating anyone more than 10 years older than me, and not hold his age against him. Other than the times when we discuss “Star Wars” (I was 4 when it hit theatres, he was 15), the age thing doesn’t come into play all that often.

On Wednesday, my dear husband turned 45. This is the 12th birthday I have spent with him, and I’m pleased to say that over the years, we have only grown closer. We’ve weathered his transition from UPS Man to Real Estate Broker, and my transition from the pet hospital to large university/children’s hospital, to teacher. Jeff and I have seen and done some pretty amazing things together, the most significant of which was adopting Vika and Eamon. He’s a wonderful spouse, a devoted father, and a great friend.

Happy birthday Jeff. The kids and I love you like crazy, and look forward to many more birthdays shared with you in the years to come.


Jeff at Chitzen Itza













On our honeymoon in the Outback













At Oktoberfest (don't know what I was thinking with that hair!)


















Together in Arizona

Just a few random thoughts from this weekend so far:

• The birth family searchers we hired arrived in Murmansk on Friday. In fact, they may be searching for our kids' Russian Mama and Papa right now. Maybe even talking to their Russian Mama and finding out what her life is like and if she ever wonders what happened to the two amazing children she gave birth to. Unfortunately, since her parental rights were terminated by the courts, and we have no last know address for her, I've been told that there is only a 50% chance that the search will be successful. Hopefully, if they cannot find the birth parents, they will be able to find the kids' maternal great-grandmother. She seemed to be the only one who took an interest in them anyway, and I think she would like to know that they are safe and well-loved in their forever family.
  
• Vika lost her first tooth (well first tooth that wasn't extracted) and is now obsessed with staring at herself in the mirror and poking her tongue through the hole. She's convinced that she is much prettier with the little gap at the front of her bottom row of teeth, and spends way too much time posing and preening in the bathroom. She's 6 going on 16, that one.
  
• Last night I went out with a few of my girlfriends to see the movie "Juno" (which was EXCELLENT, by the way. I highly recommend it.). Afterwards we went to Starbucks and closed the place down chatting about anything and everything. Three of the four of us are mothers, and I think it was just so wonderful to have uninterrupted conversation that we took complete advantage of the time we had. BTW, please send positive thoughts to friend #3, who is currently riding her own trying-to-get-pregnant roller coaster, and naturally, is surrounded by pregnant women at every turn. Why does it always seem to happen that way?
• Finally, I'm excited to get to work on my PIF projects. We've got two Law & Order's TiVo'd so I think I'll brew myself a green tea and head downstairs to watch TV and knit (I like to live dangerously).

Have a great weekend! Oh, and in case you were wondering, we did not have Roast Kid for dinner tonight. Although we did almost make Eamon Teriyake. In the end, we went with a nice chicken teriyake instead. Tasty!

The quality isn't that great, but this made me think of you anyway. Especially the Miss Piggy part: Ba-da-bum-bum!



They don't make 'em like the muppets anymore!

Finally! After 28 hours on the road (round trip), 5 days in the sweltering heat, nearly a week without internet access and a day of no electricity, I'm back online!

Despite the heat, the trip to AZ was a lot of fun. We had a mini-family reunion during our trip, which was crazy, and were able to share in my cousin's birthday celebrations. I even found some great knitting shops, and was able to expand my collection of knitting needles and yarn (I finally found sock yarn!) while Jeff and the kids waited impatiently in the car. :) I had planned to post regularly during our stay in Tucson, but the internet server at the hotel was down the entire time. So, here's a couple lists for you, in bullet point.

Heard on the Road:

• (Eamon) - I don't think I can walk anymore, cause my butt is hurting!
• (Jeff) - Eamon, that kicking of the seat is going to stop right now!
• (Me) - OOOOWWWWWW!!!!! (after slamming my finger in the car door)
• (Vika) - Sah-wah-woe!!! Whoo-hooo!!! (Translation - she's happy to see her first Saguaro cactus)
• (Jeff) - It's not over 'till it's over Jen, and that's a loooonnngggg walk! (when running on empty and spotting a gas station in the distance)
• (Eamon) - Vika, if I drive to Arizona, can you tell me where to go?
• (Vika) - Actually, I want to drive there by myself. We can go in our own cars.
• (Me) - It HATES I-10!!!! (in frustration over our Garmin constantly leading us off the highway to take side streets. We later found that it was programmed to "avoid highways." I was ready to throw it out the window.)

Things I learned during our Arizona Road Trip

• My kids do not sleep in the car. During the 14 hour trip to Tucson, Eamon slept for 10 minutes, and Vika slept for 15.
• A LOT of tomato trucks drive down CA I-5.
• Dry heat or not, 100+ degree weather is TOO HOT! Especially for Russian children born above the Arctic Circle.
• When operating a golf cart, the cart will not move if the gear is in neutral. Calling for help because you believe you are stranded on the 8th hole will result in a very irritated country club employee. Commenting that you are "new to golf" won't make him think you are any less of an idiot.
• A "Solpugid" looks like a cross between a spider and a scorpion. While it is not believed to be venomous, finding one in the middle of your bed will make sleeping extremely difficult.
  

My mom also posted about the trip on her blog, which you can read here.

It was wonderful visiting with family and reconnecting with old friends. Kathy, whom I've been friends with since we were 5, but have not seen for the last 10 years, brought her family to meet us all for lunch. It was so amazing to be with her, her older sister L, and her parents again (we missed you C!). They all look the same too, even after all this time. There are some good genes in that family, let me tell you.

I hope to get some pictures from our trip up on Flickr, and will post the link once I do. But for now, I'm off to prepare for Vika's 6th birthday, which is tomorrow! Whoo-hooo!!!!

It's great to be back home.

Yesterday, my dear friend Cathy married her Prince Charming, Matte. They met more than two years ago, after a mutual friend (with extraordinary matchmaking skills) introduced them, and it was clear that they were perfect for each other. Cathy is such a wonderful person, and Matte truly deserves everything she has to give.

Cathy and I met 7 years ago when she joined the dresser crew backstage at the American Musical Theater of San Jose. I helped show her the ropes, and we soon became fast friends. She has this incredible smile that puts Mary Lou Retton's to shame, and a fantastic sense of humor to go along with it. Since she had broken up with her boyfriend, J, she was now single and on the prowl. Unfortunately, musical theatre is not the best place to look for a date, as most of the male cast members are gay. So, we began a system of putting a dot by the names of the men in the cast who were straight (a much easier task than marking the ones that were gay), just to let the single dressers (mostly Cathy) know which guys could potentially fall for their charms. The dressers in the crew who were "taken" made it our personal mission to match Cathy with one of the cute cast members. But, despite the fact that she captured the attention of a guy in the cast who was wanted by all the long-legged chorus girls (you GO Cathy!), a long-term romance with an actor was just not for her.

Then her ex-boyfriend, J, was diagnosed with a very aggressive and rare form of cancer. Cathy put her life on hold for a year to become his caretaker, staying by his side through numerous chemo treatments and a stem-cell transplant. She gave everything she had to him, and nearly finished herself off in the process. That's the kind of person Cathy is - so giving and loyal that she often puts the needs of others before of her own. I became very worried about Cath during this time because I suspected that J was the kind of person to take everything she had to give, and give nothing in return. Sadly, my suspicions were mostly confirmed, and Cathy was heartbroken. However, from that experience, she emerged a stronger person, and when J passed away a year later, she had the courage to forgive him and forge a wonderful friendship with his girlfriend.

This newfound strength has stayed with her, and when she met Matte it became even more solidified in her personality. Matte is the first person Cathy has been with who gave her every bit as much as she gave him. He has never taken Cathy for granted, and his support for her is unwavering. He knows what she experienced with J, and he is proud of her for coming through that difficult time the way that she did. When I first met Matte, I could instantly see the deep respect, admiration and love he has for Cathy. Even more importantly, I could see how it affected her. She became more confident and sure of herself, and truly blossomed under his regard. I was (and am) so happy for her because finally, she has gotten what she so deeply deserves: unconditional love.

The wedding yesterday was such a wonderful celebration of that love. It also showed the quirks of Cathy and Matte's personalities in some really fun ways. For example, their wedding day happened to be the 30th anniversary of the release of the first Star Wars movie. Being a huge fan, Matte could not let this happy coincidence go unnoticed. Pointing the way to the wedding (which was held at an extremely classy winery) was a cardboard cutout of C3PO and R2D2. All the tables were named after Star Wars characters (the dressers were seated at the "Jawa" table), and in order to get the bride and groom to kiss, you had to answer a Star Wars trivia question instead of clinking your champagne glass. It was funny to see small pictures of Obi-Wan Kenobi and the Death Star among the beautiful table settings of orchids, candles and twinkling white lights. These little non-traditional touches made the wedding even more memorable than it already was.

Matte is also a big fan of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, so when his best man asked us to toast the happy couple, several wedding guests threw actual pieces of toast at them. It was hilarious! Although, I must admit that I was a bit scared by how well Matte danced "The Time Warp." Clearly, he has seen the movie a few too many times....

Despite the whole "Rocky Horror" thing, Matte is perfect for Cathy, and she is perfect for him. I wish them many years of happiness, and look forward to seeing them grow old together. Congratulations Matte and Cathy! I'm thrilled you found each other and extremely honored to be a part of your lives.


The dressers ducked into the photo booth for a "moment" with C3PO.

Don't tell Matte!

Yesterday, Vika, Eamon and I headed out to the Children's Discovery Museum to visit with some friends of mine, Jeff S. and Liz. When Jeff and I first began seriously thinking about adoption, these two played an instrumental role in encouraging us to take that path towards our family. Jeff S. and Liz had already adopted a beautiful little girl from China (Suzanne) and were gearing up to adopt another (Sydney). My Jeff had some reservations initially about adopting because he already had a biological daughter, and was worried that he might not have the same relationship with an adopted child. Seeing Jeff S. interact with Suzanne really helped to free Jeff of those worries, and once we started working towards our adoption, he never looked back.

Liz also gave me a lot of support, especially when I was waiting for our referral. The two of us were working as "kid wranglers" on a production of The Wizard of Oz at the time, and I was beginning to feel like the referral we were waiting for would never come (however, since reading many of your stories, I've since come to realize how ridiculously impatient I was). In between getting Munchkins into their costumes and on-stage, I would whine to Liz about how long things were taking and how it felt that Jeff and I would never have a family. She responded with a patient smile and said simply, "It will happen. Just wait." Of course she was right. Within a week after The Wizard of Oz closed, we got our referral for Vika and Eamon, and the rest is history.

After all this, it is baffling to think that in the entire time we've had Vika and Eamon home, we had not once gotten together with Jeff, Liz, Suzanne and Sydney. I'm not sure why, really. It just seems that time got away from us. So, the get-together yesterday was long overdue.

We all had a great time at the Discovery Museum, and the kids seemed to hit it off really well. They ran around, exploring the exhibits, while Jeff S., Liz and I caught up. Afterwards, we had lunch in the park and chatted while the kids played "Pirates and Mermaids." It was a really fun day, and I hope we can all get together again.

Jeff S. and Liz - let's not wait another year and a half to see each other, OK? :)