Four Feet More

It's that time of year again.  The time when school districts across California lay off teachers in an effort to save money.  You may have seen something on the news last Thursday when protesters shut down a major freeway near Oakland in an effort to raise awareness of the educational crisis.  I'm sure their actions raised a lot of sympathy with the commuters who were stuck in gridlocked traffic for hours as a result.  *sigh*  Anyway, traditionally, we get our pink slips on the "Ides of March" (March 15th for the less Shakespearean of my readers).  This year they came a week early.

On Friday afternoon I received a call from the secretary asking me to meet with our principal in her office.  I immediately stopped what I was doing and headed out (it's rarely a good thing to be called to the principal's office).  As I was leaving my class, one of the women who works at our after school daycare, said, "Are you going to the office?"  At my affirmative answer she warned, "Well watch out!  Jenna's mom is down there and she's FURIOUS!"  To provide a little background, Jenna (name has been changed) is an extremely bright student of mine who has the misfortune of having a mother who is less-than-pleasant, thinks of school as free daycare, and rarely gets her daughter to class on time.  Oh, and she's got a major chip on her shoulder.  Like a Rock-of-Gibraltar-sized-chip.  But back to my story....  In alarm I asked, "What's she mad about?"  Apparently Jenna had an accident (pooped) in her pants at daycare, and mom was mad that she had to take time out of her day to deal with it. 

In growing dread, I walked down to the office, ready to fend off any attack this woman might throw at me.  Past history has shown that she's the type of person who believes a good defense is an offense and will try to blame anyone else but herself for failures on her daughter's part. 

As I approached the office, I saw my friend, T, another temporary teacher, heading there as well.  She mimed something about signing papers, but I still expected a confrontation with Jenna's mom.  When T explained that we were probably getting our pink slips, I felt tremendous relief!  As the principal asked me to sign for my lay-off letter, I said, "Oh good!  I thought I was going to have to deal with Jenna's angry mom and poop pants!"  We all laughed and then T and I merrily went on our way.

That's the way things are now.  We've been laid-off so much that we've become desensitized to losing our jobs!  And this year is even more dire than last year was, with class sizes increasing across the board and all prep classes going away.  Unless there is a huge wave of retirement (which some people think is likely), there simply won't be positions available for the laid-off teachers to fill in the Fall.  It's the same old story.  But after three years, it's getting less interesting.

What follows are some completely unrelated bits of information which I will attempt to link together with creative segues:

First off, I finally finished my February Lady Sweater! I had set it aside but rediscovered it this summer, when I began working on the sweater with the goal of having it done in time for Fall. The garter-stitch top was easy, but the lace pattern for the body and sleeves gave me a bit of trouble. In fact, I had to rip the dang thing out 6 times before I got into the rhythm of the pattern. Watching T.V. while knitting certainly didn't help, but towards the end of the sweater, I was able to do both. Here is the finished result:

I actually made clothes for myself! I think I may do it more often (especially since I won't leave my sweaters lying on the playground to be trampled by hundreds of children, as Vika and Eamon do). I'm still not sure about the length of the sleeves - they seem like they should be either longer or shorter. But I don't have it in me to rip them out and finish them again, so I think I'll leave them this way for now.

The show that kept distracting me from the lace rows in this pattern is one Jeff and I recently discovered called "Firefly". We got it on Netflix in order to alleviate our "Star Trek" cravings (that movie will be released on DVD in November), and were pleasantly surprised. The show is on DVD because it was canceled after one season, which is a huge shame, really. "Firefly" is a SciFi Western, which despite the contradictory nature of the genre, is actually a lot of fun. My favorite lines from the show so far: "Well, my days of taking you seriously have certainly come to a middle." and "Your mouth's talking. You might want to do something about that." I would love to use that last line in my everyday life, but I think it would make my kindergartners cry.

Speaking of my students, have I mentioned that 3 of my kids have life-threatening food allergies? Well, two of those kids had allergic reactions last week, and it kind of freaked me out. Fortunately, I didn't have to use the epi-pens stored in the classroom, but it still was pretty scary. I really feel for their parents, having to deal with this on a day-to-day basis. Hopefully we'll get through the year with the epi-pens still unused, and all three kids happily going off to terrify a first grade teacher next Fall!

Have a great weekend everyone!

So, kindergarten.... It's going well, and I think I am adjusting OK without emotionally scarring any of my students. They are just so tiny and tend to cry very easily. Something I'm not really used to in my students. Here are some other things I didn't expect:

• "Johnny Ringo." He's this very cute little boy who cusses like a sailor and tends to scream "I GIVE UP" when he doesn't want to do something. He also likes to yell, "IT'S NO FRICKIN' FAIR!" and "DAMN IT!!!" when things don't go his way. As you can probably imagine, Johnny Ringo has been in more than a few time-outs (another thing I'm not used to giving my students).
• My Jehovah's Witness student who said "Shit!" when she dropped her crayon. I don't know... I guess I just assumed that Jehovah's Witnesses didn't use curse words!
• A student I think of as "Little Boy Blue" because he is so very tiny and has big blue eyes. He's 4 years old and likes to suck his thumb. His hands also tend to roam up my shirt and up my pants, leaving a wet trail wherever they go. On Friday, while I was reading a story to the class he sat next to me and held my arm. I just ignored it, until I felt warm wetness and looked down to see him sucking my arm. Ewww. Just ewwww.

There are some fun times with the kinders too. For example, my birthday was yesterday, and when I told them I was having a birthday, they naturally asked, "HOW OLD ARE YOU GOING TO BE?" (kindergarten kids tend to shout out when they are excited). I responded that I was going to be 6 years old, and they exploded into raptures, "I"M GOING TO BE SIX THIS YEAR TOO!!!!" They love it that we have something in common, and a few of them have wondered aloud if they will be as tall as me when they turn 6. Later on I might have them add 30 to that number to get my actual age, but probably not. ;)

In the end, despite the learning curve, I am enjoying kindergarten. I love being done with the direct teaching at 11:25 am when my kids (the early birds) leave for the day. I only have to be "on" for half a day, and it's quite nice! I also like having a bit of prep time during the afternoon, something that is a rare commodity in my school district these days (teacher prep time was cut because of the budget). And fortunately, I am working with a great partner who has everything I could possibly need to teach the hands-on lessons. She's also great about letting me pick her brain as I learn the new grade level.

I think it is going to be a good year, and, at the very least, it should give me some great stories!

It's done. I have finally completed my BTSA (Beginning Teacher Support and Assessment) program!

I've actually had a bone to pick with the whole BTSA thing since I began the program last year. Why is so much time and money spent to re-teach teachers what they already learned in their university credential programs? And why did I have to lug around and complete the paperwork contained in a 4-inch thick binder, only to have the BTSA office (who gave me the binder and paperwork in the first place) say, "Oh, we don't need to see that!" I've been compiling that data for 2 years!!! You're darn well gonna see it, and you'll "ooohhh" and "ahhhh" in all the appropriate places, thankyouverymuch.

Today was the last step in the two-year BTSA process. I had to go for a formal exit interview in front of a panel, where I was expected to explain my teaching practices, show growth over time, and provide student work to serve as evidence of my status as a "highly qualified educator." I carefully prepared my responses, typing notes and selecting student work that I felt would wonderfully illustrate the teaching practices I was explaining. I spent 2 years collecting this student work, much of which went into the binder the BTSA people so cavalierly tossed aside. I also took the day off to prepare for my interview this afternoon and make any last minute tweaks to my responses.

Then I learned that "everyone passes" the interview. Which begs the question, "Why the hell do I have to do it then?" If everyone passes, what's the point of even conducting these interviews? *sigh* It is probably just another box for the BTSA people to check off their list.

Well, at least now all my boxes are checked and I can send payment to the state of California to clear my teaching credential. Just in time to be laid off due to state budget cuts. Yippee.

P.S. I don't mean to sound bitter, but I might be. Just a little.

Sorry about that. I've been terribly busy at school and more than a little stressed out about the uncertainty of my future employment. Open House was last night, which is one big thing out of the way. It went well, and many parents expressed dismay that I wasn't going to be returning next year. Now I just have a colloquium and exit interview for BTSA (the program to clear my teaching credential), Science Camp, final report cards and packing up my classroom before I'm on Summer Break!

On the job front, a nearby district is hiring teachers, so I've put in an application. Hopefully I'll get an interview, despite what is likely to be huge competition from other teachers laid off in my district. I'm also looking at jobs outside of classroom education, so we'll see what happens.

The job search has raised an important question in my mind, and maybe some of you can help me out with this. What do parents who work basic 9-5 jobs do with their kids during school breaks? Suggestions?

After school today, as I sat grading tests, I noted with both amusement and dismay some of my students answers. To be fair, one of these students is an English Language Learner who recently moved here from another country. But the other two, well they really have no excuse. We are currently covering the Revolutionary War and the Declaration of Independence. I think I may need to go back and review some key details....

Question 1: What was one good effect of having the British around?
Answer: One good effect of having the British around is that American colonists can kill them. (I guess this does make it convenient when trying to defeat your foe, but the correct answer was: The British gave the colonists protection from warring Native Americans and French and Spanish invaders.)

Question 2: How did life change for the colonists after signing the Declaration of Independence?
Answer 2 (from EL student): They get their freedom and they live like bird is flying in the sky and with love. (While I like the imagery his response brings, the correct answer is: After the colonists signed the Declaration of Independence, the Revolutionary War began, affecting the lives of many. Neighbors and families were torn apart based on their support of the British or the Patriots and there were many bloody battles until America finally won it's independence from Britain.)

Question 3: If you had lived during the Revolutionary War, which side do you think you would have been on? Why?
Answer 3: If I had lived during the war, I would have been on the American's side because I don't like red coats at all. Blue is an OK color for me." (I guess for some people, color choice is more important than political ideals.)

I love teaching about the birth of our country because the students have such interesting questions and we are able to make some wonderful connections to events that are going on today (for example, the colonists pulling down King George III's statue and Iraqis pulling down the statue of Saddam Hussein). However, with answers like the ones above, I'm also finding that students have some interesting interpretations of historical events as well.

Across the state of California tomorrow it will be "Pink Friday," a day to protest the tens of thousands of pink slips being issued to teachers. Everyone is encouraged to wear pink to show support for California's education system - which is kind of hard for me since I'm not really a pink person. But I imagine it's much harder for all the male teachers out there, who don't ever wear pink at all.

Over the past few months, and especially this last week, I've been exploring my options for next year. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't burnt out of teaching, because I am. I love working with the kids and seeing their eyes light up when they understand the curriculum and make connections to their own lives. Just this week, we did a class play about the Boston Tea Party, in which half the class acted out the roles and the rest of the class served as "techies," making costumes and sets out of whatever paper and supplies we had on hand. Orange and purple tricorn hats, made of construction paper held together with staples graced many a "patriot's" head. The kids had a fun time, and maybe learned a little more about the Boston Tea Party than they would have if they had only read of the event in a book.

However, with the state of teaching today, it is often hard to find the time to do such activities. Language arts is the main priority, and we conduct standardized testing in this area nearly every 6 weeks. Then we spend a day looking at the test scores, evaluating the data and seeing what skills we need to focus on for the next test. This practice is referred to as "backwards planning," but I suspect what it really is is "teaching to the test." One colleague has off the chart spelling scores and is given praise every testing period for those scores. Unfortunately, this teacher gives all the spelling words on the standardized test to the students early so that they can study them. This is not really what we are supposed to do - a teacher should be teaching the spelling patterns and the words throughout the unit, not feeding the words that are on the test. However, with things like merit pay and competition among teachers, such practices are going to become all the more common. Then, I wonder, how valuable and accurate are our assessments? I could teach the exact test to my kids too and I bet they would score really well. But then what happens to the actual curriculum? How well-rounded and well-educated will our students truly be when they graduate if all that is focused on is test scores?

This is the thing about education that is burning me out. Next year, with increased class size, less pay and no prep or janitorial services, I suspect the profession is going to be much more stressful. I am "on the cusp" with regards to my chances for rehire. But I'm not sure I want to work in the public education system when it is headed in this direction. So now I'm looking at jobs in the field of education where I can work with kids in a non-public-classroom environment. Jobs whose goal is not to achieve the highest test scores, but to make education and learning fun. There's a good chance that if I get rehired, I will wind up going back into the classroom - with the current state of the economy, I'm not sure I could afford to pass up a paying job. But it would be nice if I had some other options to choose from.

I've been having strange, anxiety-filled dreams lately. Dreams where I'm stuck somewhere, looking for a way out, but no exit is presenting itself. The other night I was walking down a long, hotel corridor, searching for a door that would take me outside. Ever door I opened led me to a either another dingy corridor or a twisting stairwell going who knows where. Last night my dreams took me to a parking garage. I knew my car was in there somewhere, but I couldn't find it. I wandered from one dark level to the next, searching for a car that seemed to have disappeared. These dreams have been causing me to wake up in the early hours of the morning, heart pounding.

I know they are a result of my current job stress. Every day it seems we are hearing something different about the future of education in California. We know the cuts are coming, we just don't know how big they will be and what, exactly, is going to be cut. One thing I do know for sure is that I will be getting a pink-slip in March, and that I have less than a 10% chance of getting hired back. Who is rehired will be based purely on seniority - how good of a teacher you are is irrelevant.

It seems that the writing is on the wall, and I need to find a "Plan B." I think that is what I'm searching for in my dreams - another career path that will lead me out of my current state of instability. I just don't quite know where to look.

So here's a challenge for you, Internets. What kind of career can a person with a background in education, theatre, art, and archaeology pursue? I'm taking all suggestions, as long as they don't involve illegal activity. Any ideas?

For all the conflicting emotions I’ve been having about school lately, this week my colleagues did something so touching, that I think my heart actually may have grown two sizes bigger.

Remember my student, “Peter?” Well, he’s still a challenge for me every day. But I really like the kid. He’s completely honest and while his ADHD is one of the most severe cases I’ve ever seen, he genuinely wants to do well. He just doesn’t always have control of himself. Adding to this is the fact that he and his mother are homeless. They fled an abusive father in another state and have been staying at various homeless shelters in our area since September. One shelter was clear across town, and Peter walked 2 hours, in the chilly morning air, to get to school. His determination to attend class amazed me. But I also felt bad that he had to walk so far, and for so long. I mentioned to him that there might be another school closer to the shelter that he could go to, so that way he wouldn’t have to walk so far. Peter looked up at me with a slightly panicked expression and said, “But I don’t want to go to another school. I want to stay here.”

It was then that I realized that our school, and my class, is probably the only consistency he has in his life. And I could see how important that was to him. I quickly assured Peter that I didn’t want him to go to another school either, but that I didn’t like the idea of him having to walk so far. Soon afterwards, he and his mother began renting a room in the apartment where another student lives.

Despite his big heart and good intentions, Peter constantly gets into trouble, and as a result, spends a lot of time in the office. The school secretary (L) and clerk (M) have gotten to know him quite well, and L even served him dinner once while volunteering at a local homeless shelter. The three of us often talk about Peter and his situation, and while he drives us nuts sometimes, it’s clear that we all feel a certain fondness for him as well.

On Thursday, when I was in the office doing some work, M came up to me and said that there was a green duffle bag for Peter by her desk. I went to get it, thinking it was his things from the shelter, but instead found that it was an enormous duffle bag filled with clothing and a new backpack. L and M had collected various items for Peter to give him for the holidays. They also had a bag containing a shiny wrapped gift for Peter (it was a basketball) and another Christmas gift for his mother (a warm sweatshirt). I was completely stunned by their generosity. The fact that they took the time to get these things and help make the holidays brighter for him and his mother left me speechless (no easy feat), and I stood in the office sputtering for a moment, trying to find words to express my gratitude. M just smiled and shook her head, so I loaded myself up with the packages and went back to class to deliver them to Peter.

When I handed the duffle bag to Peter, he was confused. “What’s this?” he asked. “I’m not sure.” I replied. “It looks like Santa may have come a bit early this year.” Understanding slowly dawned on his face, and Peter broke into a big smile. On Friday, he came to school proudly spinning the new basketball on his finger (and laughed at me when I protested that he wasn’t supposed to open the gift until Christmas).

Even though they don’t know of this blog’s existence, I’d like to publicly applaud L and M. They not only made a difference in this boy’s life, but they reminded me of how lucky I am to work with such wonderful people. It was an amazing Christmas moment – one I won’t ever forget.

I've been gearing up for my first ever Open House the last couple of weeks, and finally, the big event was last night. The students helped me get everything set up, and all in all it was a success. The huge tray of cookies I put out disappeared in minutes! The 6th graders and their families were like locusts sweeping through my room! So much for thinking I was going to bring some cookies home for Jeff and the kids.

It was kind of funny to see the 5th grade parents come in, "shopping" for their child's 6th grade teacher. I've been hired back for 6th grade, but it's pretty much a done deal that I will move to 5th grade in the Fall. I'm not sure how many people know that fact though, so I kept it on the down-low, smiling and answering their questions.

The bummer thing about Open House was that Vika's Open House was at exactly the same time as mine. So, like her Back to School night, I missed it. Although, in all honesty, I'm not too sad about missing out on the chance to chat with her teacher. ;)

One last mystery for you all to ponder: What is it with adolescent boys and Axe deodorant? Last week we had a heat wave, and I had to have the "hygiene talk" with the class. I mentioned how they had to take a shower every day and wash everywhere (to which one of my "helpful" boys responded, "Yep! She means THERE too!"). I also reminded them to put on deodorant so the room would quit smelling like hot garbage and old onions. Well, the next day, one of my boys had a can of Axe spray on his desk. I decided to let it slide, since he was at least showing that he had listened to my talk. However, the next day 4 boys had Axe deodorant on their desks, and two of them even applied it IN CLASS! Honestly. I would have been mortified to put deodorant on in front of all my peers! But to them, it was like the cool thing to do.

Now, my classroom is a "No Axe Zone." Apply it in the bathroom, please, and then hide it away in your backpack. The smell of Axe is almost worse than the old onions!

Things have been a bit hectic around here lately, but it's been a good hectic. I have gotten a job as a 6th grade teacher for the coming school year, and have been scrambling around quite a bit trying to figure out what the heck I'm going to do with 30 11 year olds on a full-time basis!

I will be in a position to mold young minds. I know, I've been in that position since adopting Vika and Eamon, but these are other people's kids we're talking about. Other children will be exposed to me, in all my freakishness, on a daily basis, and may even take on some of my mannerisms. God help them. Hopefully they will learn somethings about math, science and ancient history as well.

I'll only be in this position for a year. The regular 6th grade teacher is taking this academic year off because she is going to China to adopt a little boy (she has a beautiful little girl who she also adopted form China a few years ago). I'm hoping she'll stop by with the little guy, once they get all settled in at home.

In the meantime, I'm trying to figure out how much I can change her room without ticking her off. The front of her desk is covered with political bumper stickers. Most of them I agree with, but I'm not one to advertise my politics to students because I want them to make decisions for themselves. The sticker which states, "Television is Drugs" is DEFINITELY coming off! If television is drugs, then I've been a lifelong addict (my current drug of choice, "Deadliest Catch" on the Discovery Channel).

I'm really excited about going to work full-time as a teacher, but nervous too. Part of my nervousness comes from the idea of being responsible for an entire classroom - managing pre-teen kids, creating lesson plans, and making the coursework interesting. The other part of my nervousness comes from leaving my role as a stay-at-home mom. I think Vika will be OK, since she's already completed a year of school, but I'm not sure how Eamon will adjust to being put in preschool. I hope he does well and enjoys having something that is his own. Making new friends, and learning new things may keep him so busy that he will spare barely a thought for the fact that he and I are not spending our days hanging out together. In the end, me going back to work may be harder for me than it is for the kids. We'll just have to cross our fingers and see how it goes.

Lately things have been a bit hectic in our house. Vika and Eamon have been testing boundaries, and as a result, getting into increasingly more trouble. There are a few reasons which I believe are contributing to this negative trend, the first of which is easily fixable: Valentine's Day candy.

On Valentine's Day, Vika's kindergarten class had a "Friendship Day" at school, and Eamon was invited to attend (he and Vika's teacher adore each other). It was wonderful to see Eamon hanging with the kindergartners, and observe how he behaved in a classroom setting (he did pretty well, but his attention span could definitely use some maturing). However, in addition to the fun classroom activities, there were also lots, and lots of sweets. Cupcakes, candy hearts, and chocolate kisses were all within the reach of his sticky little hands. He and Vika came home with bags of booty, which I put in a "safe place" to help regulate their sugar intake. Or so I thought...

Throughout the afternoon, Vika and Eamon were each put into time-outs for aggressive behavior (now that the kids are attached, we've begun using time-outs instead of time-ins). We have not had to use these very frequently - usually a verbal warning and a docking of TV-time helps them remember to follow the house rules. But both of them showed aggressive behavior towards each other, which continued even after I issued a warning and gave them suggestions on how to handle their frustration in a more appropriate manner.

So, at different times in the afternoon, they were each put into time outs. Eamon's time-out even became aggressive and violent. He repeatedly came out of the time-out and hit me. Once he even tried to bite my hand as I was sitting him back down. I did my best not to engage in his negative behavior, but it was so hard! Finally, he got the idea that no matter what he did, I was not giving up, and would be sitting him back down until he served his 4 minutes time. At that point he sat, wimpering over the unfairness of life, while I folded laundry in the next room (where I could still see him and he could see me).

I was at a loss to explain why this sudden outbreak in hostilities was occurring in our house. Then as I was putting away some of Eamon's clothes, I found about 10 Hershey's Kisses wrappers littering the floor of his closet. Similar wrappers were discovered in Vika's trashcan. They had both sneaked candy up to their rooms, where they hid, eating it quickly as I worked downstairs. The unusually high intake of sugar and caffeine must have created quite a rush in their little bodies, and I believe it was partly to blame for their aggressive behavior.

However, the second reason for the escalation in testiness is a bit more difficult to solve: my increased work schedule. For the past year, I would sub maybe once or twice a week, with a total of about 4 days a month. Now, I am subbing 2 and 3 days a week, with calls coming in on a regular basis. As a result, I am not home with Eamon and Vika all day, every day, and I think this may be a bit hard for them to understand. Vika has been trying to wake up early, so she can have breakfast with me before I leave for school. If she does wake up early, she doesn't get enough sleep, and if she is not able to wake up in time to see me off, she is disappointed. Either scenario results in an angry little girl. Eamon has become a bit more angry towards me as well. It is almost the same situation I faced after coming home from a trip to Chicago with my mom last summer.

So, what happens next year, when I hope to go back to work full-time? Being a stay-at-home-mom and an occasional teacher has been great, and I'm glad we have been able to afford the loss of my regular income for as long as we have (much longer than we thought we would, in fact). However, there comes a time when I need to start contributing to the family finances and put my hard-earned teaching credential to use. How do we help the kids prepare for this change in my employment status, without having full-blown nastiness in the house?

Have any of you had to deal with this? If so, how did you get through it? Hopefully having both kids in school will help distract them from the fact that I am not home with them all day (Eamon will either be in preschool or kindergarten, and Vika will be in first grade). I have enjoyed staying home with my kids, but a part of me also wants to get back to doing something that is just mine. I want to do what I've been trained to and help make a difference in the lives of children.

I just don't want to make my own children miserable as a result.