Four Feet More

Jeff and I have been working really hard to stay on track as far as discipline goes.  We've been allowing our kids to make choices and deal with the consequences, without giving them countless reminders about what is the right thing to do.  They know the right thing to do.  We've told them often enough!   But it is really hard to bite my tongue and not say anything when Vika and Eamon don't follow through on doing what we ask.  I've been in the habit of giving repeated reminders and warnings, and I get frustrated when the simplest of requests is ignored.

Adding to my frustration is the fact that things are not getting better, they're getting worse.  This afternoon, for example, the kids gleefully ignored their evening chores, playing loudly upstairs to make sure I knew they were not doing as I asked.  A relatively minor request to put away the chess game was met with groans, name-calling and threats (all directed at me).  There seems to be a lot of anger brewing in our kids right now, and it's definitely taking it's toll.  As I keep my cool and do not react with a raised voice or threats, their anger seems to get worse.  Logically, I know this means that the discipline is working.  They are trying to get me worked up so that they can regain control of the situation.  But emotionally, it's tough.  I've had this knot in my chest all week, and it is hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Some people might say I should just spank my kids and get it over with.  But they have not seen Eamon cower in fear, hiding under his blankets and crying when Jeff raises his voice at Vika.  They haven't heard the matter-of-fact way that Vika says the mamachkas (caregivers) at the orphanage used their shoes to beat kids who misbehaved.  Spanking might produce short-term results, but at what cost? 

And, lest any of you get the idea that we have "bad kids," I assure you that couldn't be farther from the truth.  We have amazing kids!  Kids who survived things in their first few years of life that would bring many adults to their knees.  It's the survival techniques that brought them through those early years that we are dealing with now - many of them just don't work in a family.  So, despite the feeling that we have taken two HUGE steps backwards, Jeff and I are pressing on.  Hopefully we'll figure out soon what has caused this recent downward spiral in our kids' behavior so we can address that underlying issue as well.  It's tough, but I believe the end results will be worth it.

Let's face it.  Tiger Woods has made some horrendous choices lately and has more than his share to apologize for.  If you watched his live apology (I didn't) or read about it later (which I did), it may have been enlightening to you how he apologized.  Not the exact words, per se, but the format.  As if there were rules he was following when composing his mea culpa.  This is what I learned from Tiger's apology:

A sincere apology must have 3 parts:

1. Honestly admit what you did.
2. Explain why it was wrong (including who it hurt and why).
3. Give a "plan of action" to show that what you did will not happen again.

I'm told this is classic 12-step-program procedure, but never having gone through such a program, I hadn't  really thought about it before.  It seems so logical though.  I know when someone simply says "I'm sorry," I often don't feel that they really understood why what they did was wrong.  With my kids especially, the words "I'm sorry" are more of a way to get out of a lecture or move on from a situation, rather than a sincere acknowledgment that what they did was wrong.  So, we have now instituted the 3-step apology rule in our house.  Vika and Eamon groan about it, but you know what?  I think it has made them much more reflective about how their actions and words affect others.  Hopefully this will eventually result in them thinking about potential outcomes before they act, rather than atoning for them afterward.

I know.  Best of luck with that.  But at this point, I'll try anything to get them past their "It's better to ask for forgiveness than permission" mindset.

As I mentioned in my previous post, I've been sick with a cold for the past week. Yesterday afternoon, I decided to take a hot shower to relieve some of the congestion in my head. Jeff was out with some clients, so during this 5-10 minute period the kids would be unsupervised. No biggie, right?

I had just put conditioner in my hair when I heard Eamon shouting outside the bathroom door, "Mama! Vika hit her head!" "What?" I asked. "Vika hit her head and there's blood on her shirt!" he replied, this time more frantically. "WHAT??!!!" I screamed now, panic setting in. "Tell her to get up here if she can!"

I quickly scrambled from the shower, threw on a robe and met Vika on the stair landing. She was holding a paper towel to the back of her head, but didn't look too bad. Until she turned around. The entire back of her tank-top was covered in blood. "Oh my God!" I said, gently parting her hair to see the damage. There was so much blood that it was hard to see, so I had her sit down and push the cloth to her head while I asked Eamon what on earth had happened.

We live in a three-level townhouse, where you can look down on the living room from the dining room. There is a rail separating the two spaces, and Eamon thought it would be fun to jump from the rail down into the living room (about 6 feet). After a successful jump and landing, he encouraged Vika to give it a try. Her jump was also successful, but the landing...not so much. Basically, she hit the couch, bounced backwards and knocked her head on the coffee table, creating a gash in the middle-back portion of her scalp.

In anger and shock I yelled, "That's why we tell you not to jump off the railing!!!!" I grabbed the phone and called Jeff. "Jeff," I said, "I need you to come home NOW. Vika cracked her head open and there's blood all down the back of her shirt." He told me to call 911 next, which I did. However, I was still in a bathrobe with conditioner in my hair, and began to freak out about paramedics coming into the house while I was practically naked. Seeing that Vika was alert and sitting quietly, I managed to pull on some clothes while on the phone with dispatch. In the meantime, Eamon, who was completely distressed by the situation, was hiding in his bed with the covers pulled over his head, whimpering that he hoped Vika didn't die. "Calm down Eamon!" I said, "Vika's going to be alright!"

Moments later, our home was flooded by firemen and paramedics, who efficiently checked out Vika while I told them what happened. They got the bleeding to stop and said that the wound wasn't as bad as it looked, but that it might need stitches (producing more whimpering from both Vika and Eamon). After some discussion, they felt it might be more stressful for Vix to go to the hospital in an ambulance, so we agreed to drive her to urgent care. They applied a bandage and ice bag to her head, and we put her in a clean shirt (couldn't have her going to urgent care all covered in blood!). Then we headed out to the hospital.

Fortunately, since it was late afternoon and urgent care was about to close, we had no wait. They got Vika in right away and cleaned her wound. After some close examination, the doctor decided that staples would be needed to hold the wound closed. Vika nearly broke my fingers, she squeezed them so hard when she heard this. But she was a trooper and about an hour later, we headed home with a girl who was all in one piece (even if it was held together by 3 staples).

After we got home, I began to notice other things about the house. Like the blood trail that went from the living room, up the first flight of stairs and through the dining room into the kitchen. In the kitchen, there was a pool of blood in front of the sink and red smeared down the cabinets. There were also large smears of blood where Eamon had clearly tried to clean up so they wouldn't get caught. I saw a bunch of blood in the downstairs bathroom as well. Apparently, after the fall (which happened very soon after I got into the shower), the kids tried to clean the wound and all the blood on their own so they wouldn't get in trouble for jumping off the railing. They must have been in a complete panic about getting caught. Upon realizing that the blood wasn't stopping and the mess was getting bigger by the moment, Eamon decided to come and get me for help. Dang kids. I was in the shower for less than 5 minutes! I really should be able to trust that they are not going to kill or maim themselves in that short amount of time. Silly Me.

This is the second time we've had to call 911 for Vika in the last 6 months. My mom joined us at Urgent Care, and when she asked Eamon what happened he replied, "Vika isn't as good of a monkey as me." In his simple way, he kind of summed it all up.

I had this whole post prepared about New Year's resolutions and revelations, and staying connected to family and friends rather than taking them for granted. But reading through it again last night, it smacked a bit of bitterness. I think I'll rework it a bit before posting it here. Or maybe I won't. Maybe it will just languish with all my other draft posts which lost some of their appeal when I went to press the "Publish Post" button.

We'll see.

In other news, we received a bit of a surprise last week in the form of a message from Russia. The kids' Russian Mama sent us New Year's Cards. It wasn't much, but it was enough to let me know that she wants to keep contact with us, which was a huge relief. I was so worried that she might just ignore our last letter, which was sent nearly 6 months ago, or that future contact might be too painful for her. I was also concerned that she might have moved since I dragged my feet so long in writing to her. But now we have a current address to work with and a sign that connection with our family is not unwelcome.

I'm not sure how to respond to these cards though. They were basically holiday cards with brief notes written inside (we're having them translated), and didn't answer any of the questions I posed in my letter. I guess, rather than ask more questions, I'll just send an update on how the kids are doing with some additional pictures. Although I might sneak a little request in there for birth father pictures, if I can find a tactful way to do it. This whole thing is tricky - I desperately want information, but don't want to offend or seem too pushy. Any suggestions or input from those of you who have contact with birth families would be appreciated!

For the past two years, packages for the kids have been left on our doorstep on Christmas Day from the "Secret Santa." This Secret Santa gets them small gifts, but they are things that the kids love. Junie B. Jones books, journals, writing notepads and pens (my kids LOVE note pads - they are either writing stories or taking our orders for dinner like little waiters). It's a thoughtful gesture that brings some unexpexcted joy on Christmas Day.

The thing is, neither Jeff nor I have any idea who the Secret Santa is. We had some ideas last year, but both those people delivered gifts for the kids in person before Christmas. It's hard to imagine that they would come back on Christmas Day with a second set of gifts for which they took no credit. Also, the Secret Santa spells Eamon's name right, so it probably isn't one of the neighbors. Most people spell Eamon's name "Amen" or "Amon" unless they have had the occasion to see it in writing (which our neighbors haven't, really). And since the Secret Santa gives gifts to "Victoria" instead of "Vika," I think he/she is probably not someone I work with or whose kids play with ours.

It's a mystery. I would love to be able to thank the Secret Santa for his/her thoughtfulness, but since I have no idea who it is, I can't! However, I don't think our appreciation is what they're after. It seems for someone out there, just knowing that they gave a little surprise to a couple of kids on Christmas Day is enough.

Merry Christmas Secret Santa. I hope your holiday brought some unexpected surprises as well.

Thanks for all the suggestions for dealing with the problem in my last post. We've actually used a few of them, and I think Vika is starting to get it. Maggie - we did the activity with the paper person, writing on the body all the things that make family great, and then tearing it apart with actions that hurt a family. Afterward we discussed what actions would put the family back together and taped the paper person back up. Then I hung him on the fridge as a reminder.

The next day, Vika and I were having a discussion about how she was talking to Eamon (she does love to boss him around). She began yelling and whining, so I said, "I don't think we're communicating very well right now. Lets talk about this later when we're both more calm." Vika stormed off to the refrigerator, took down the paper person and tore off the leg that says "communication." Then she placed it on my laptop. I fought back a smile because I know she was making a valid point, and I didn't think she'd appreciate the humor in the situation. But we later talked about it and she found her actions amusing too. I still have the paper "communication" leg sitting by my laptop, and it makes me smile every time I look at it. Perhaps it's time to reattach the leg to our little "Family Man" though.

Vika is also working on a well-thought-out letter of apology, which Eamon requested of her. Eamon told Vika he wanted the letter to say more than just "I'm sorry." He wanted her to show that she really meant it. Sounds like the kid has some tough standards. I hope he doesn't make Vika do too many revisions!

I really liked Kate's suggestion of a shared family "secret" that Vika was excluded from. It was just tricky thinking of how to do this in a way that didn't seem vindictive or mean. Luckily, Eamon is not the type to hold grudges or intentionally hurt someone's feelings, so when we told him our plan, I knew he would see it through in a kind way. We have planned a fun family evening watching "Polar Express," drinking hot chocolate (which we usually do during the "Hot Chocolate" scene in the movie - we're nerds), and making cinnamon S'mores. Eamon, Jeff and I have talked about the "fun plans" in passing, but not enough to lord it over Vika. We've just kind of mentioned it here and there, and Eamon's given me smiling thumb's up signals across the table. Vika has asked, "What is the surprise?! Is it a surprise for me?!" I said that no, it wasn't a surprise for her, but it was a family activity that we wanted to do, just the four of us. We are nervous about telling her because she might mention it to someone else, who would feel bad that they are not included. Frankly, it's driving Vika nuts! "Why can't you just tell me?!" she exclaimed in frustration yesterday afternoon. "I think you know the answer to that, Vika" I responded calmly. She got very quiet at that point and was really thinking about it. Hopefully she thought about what it means to share trust in a family and how it is better to be inside the "circle of trust" rather than outside of it. We'll put her out of her misery today though. A rainy Sunday sounds like the perfect day to watch "Polar Express," drink hot cocoa and eat S'mores!

One other family building activity Jeff and I are doing is kind of a "forced cooperation" program. Vika constantly needs to be in charge of Eamon, so we're making them work together on family chores, like folding laundry or cleaning the kitchen, and fun things like Holiday projects. We've instructed Eamon to say, "Nice try Vika" when she starts bossing him around and to remind her that they are working as a team. Our hope is that this will empower Eamon to react to Vika's bossiness with words instead of anger, and also reinforce that neither child in the house is in charge of the other. We'll see how that goes.

Thank you again for all the great ideas. I was too upset to really come up with anything constructive last weekend. Fortunately, since Vika let the secret slip on a Friday, the kids at school had all weekend to forget about it, and Eamon has not been teased since. That was my biggest concern, and luckily, it seems to no longer be an issue.

I need advice regarding a problem which I was made aware of this afternoon. Vika exposed a secret about Eamon, something he is ashamed of and which we have said would stay just within the family, to her classmates at school in an effort to embarrass and bully him. Sadly it worked, and now kids at school are making fun of Eamon as well. I'm so upset with her, and extremely sad that Eamon now has to endure teasing about something which he really cannot help.

I've told Vika how people need to feel safe in a family and how she has made Eamon feel unsafe by telling his secret to kids at school. I've also told her that words can never be taken back and how disappointed I am with her for lashing out at her brother in that way. But it seems there needs to be some bigger consequence for this so that it will never occur again.

How would you deal with a situation like this? Anything you can think of that would have a lasting impact? And for the more bloodthirsty of you out there, beating her with a stick is not an option.

For some reason, I can't shake this cold. I felt like I was getting better last week, but then it came up on me again, even worse than before. I went into school on Monday, but barely made it through class. Thank goodness I teach the morning kindergarten class, so I was able to leave in the afternoon without inconveniencing anyone too much. And I've been home ever since, resting on the couch and in bed, taking meds and drinking lots of tea.

The kids have been pretty good about me staying home sick. This morning they put together quite a surprise. Jeff went downstairs around 7:30 am, and I heard Vika and Eamon yell, "Surprise!" I went down and saw that not only had they gotten themselves up and ready for school, but they had set the table beautifully with a choice of cereals, milk, toast, and even a pot of tea (which is a very nice pot that we keep up high - I'm so glad they didn't get hurt or drop the dang thing while getting it down!). Despite the many opportunities they had to burn themselves with the hot tea or break various dining ware, Vika and Eamon took care of everything really well! My kids are growing up. The only mishap of the morning was provided by Jeff, who put a frozen loaf of bread in the microwave to defrost, while it was still in its plastic wrap with a gold label, and the loaf caught on fire. Vika said, "It's like a candle went off in there!" when looking at the scorched ceiling and melted plastic on the glass of the microwave. Poor Jeff. He's scrubbing the appliance as I type this.

Hopefully another day of rest at home will help me kick this cold once and for all. I'm going back to work tomorrow, and our Metcha Day feast is this Saturday, so I'd really like to get better now. In the meantime, I'll snuggle back with a pot of tea and a good book and enjoy the few hours of quiet I have until the kids get home from school.

Things have been a bit out of sync over here lately. There has been a lot of the good mixed in with the bad, and it's left me a tad off-balance.

First of all, I've had a cold for the past week and a half, and I can't seem to shake it. Fortunately, it has not been accompanied by fevers and body aches, so I don't believe it is the dreaded swine flu. Thank goodness for that! I would like this stuffiness and coughing to go away now, though. After a particularly rough night, Jeff woke me this morning with a hug and a "Morning Jen. I hate you." Then he kissed my head, tucked the blankets around me, and got up. He was teasing, of course, but I did keep him up all night with my coughing. My poor, long-suffering husband. ;)

Things have also been a little different with my step-daughter, Ali. The good news is that she's contacting us a bit more regularly now, and she even came out for Eamon's birthday (it was the first time she's ever celebrated that with us). It was nice to see her and have her spend time with the family again. The bad news is that every time she contacts us, there seems to be a crisis of some sort. Often she needs money desperately, and sometimes there are other tragic events. First her boyfriend broke his back, and this week, a good friend of hers from high school died, along with 3 others, in a car crash on her way back from Vegas. Ali is naturally devastated, and I feel so bad for her because over the past few years, she seems to have separated herself from many of her support systems. It must be terribly hard to be living alone in a city away from family and close friends, especially during a such a difficult time. It is my hope that this horrible tragedy will have a silver lining, and Ali will examine the way her life is going and come to value family relationships once again.

The final blow for my week came yesterday, on Halloween. As you know, Rupert has not been doing so well. The tumor on his foot has been getting bigger, and he has been dropping weight. However, he was still acting like himself for the most part, and the foot didn't seem to be giving him any pain. Until yesterday. He had begun to get lethargic, but he still followed me around the house, purring when I said his name. However, as he walked through the kitchen, we noticed some blood on the floor. I immediately put his foot in warm water to clean it, and, well, I'll spare you all the gory details and just say that the tumor had broken though the skin and it was all-around unpleasant. Funny thing is, it still didn't seem to be causing Rupert any discomfort. He let me clean his foot without so much as a wince. But I knew that it wouldn't be long before the tumor would become infected and cause him great pain. So I took him into the vet, and she agreed that it was time to let him go. She also validated my decision not to amputate the foot, which made me feel a lot better because when faced with the decision of euthanasia, I began to question whether or not I could have done more for Rupert. In the end, he went peacefully, and Jeff, Vika and Eamon were there to give me hugs when I left the hospital in tears (they were not in the room with me - Jeff took the kids outside to pick flowers).

Fortunately, we had trick-or-treating to take the kids' minds off the loss of Rupert. It cheered me up too, to see Eamon running with his skinny little legs in his Obi-Wan Kenobi costume, and Vika preening around as an Asian Princess. Eamon usually wears baggier boy clothes, so to see him in a tight-fitting costume was a bit like seeing a fluffy cat that had just been doused with water. I don't know where that boy packs away all the food he eats! Both kids had a great time trick-or-treating and passing out candy at my mom's house (every time there was a knock on the door they jumped up and yelled, "Customers!!!"). They even scored some Baby Ruths, which naturally, I took as soon as they were in bed.


It was a fun end to a roller-coaster-week. But hopefully the coming days will be a bit more relaxed and I'll finally kick this cold. I also hope that where ever Rupert is, he's happily flinging around a milk top and surrounded by toilets with the lids up (his disgustingly favorite source of water). Goodbye little man. I'll miss you.

So, kindergarten.... It's going well, and I think I am adjusting OK without emotionally scarring any of my students. They are just so tiny and tend to cry very easily. Something I'm not really used to in my students. Here are some other things I didn't expect:

• "Johnny Ringo." He's this very cute little boy who cusses like a sailor and tends to scream "I GIVE UP" when he doesn't want to do something. He also likes to yell, "IT'S NO FRICKIN' FAIR!" and "DAMN IT!!!" when things don't go his way. As you can probably imagine, Johnny Ringo has been in more than a few time-outs (another thing I'm not used to giving my students).
• My Jehovah's Witness student who said "Shit!" when she dropped her crayon. I don't know... I guess I just assumed that Jehovah's Witnesses didn't use curse words!
• A student I think of as "Little Boy Blue" because he is so very tiny and has big blue eyes. He's 4 years old and likes to suck his thumb. His hands also tend to roam up my shirt and up my pants, leaving a wet trail wherever they go. On Friday, while I was reading a story to the class he sat next to me and held my arm. I just ignored it, until I felt warm wetness and looked down to see him sucking my arm. Ewww. Just ewwww.

There are some fun times with the kinders too. For example, my birthday was yesterday, and when I told them I was having a birthday, they naturally asked, "HOW OLD ARE YOU GOING TO BE?" (kindergarten kids tend to shout out when they are excited). I responded that I was going to be 6 years old, and they exploded into raptures, "I"M GOING TO BE SIX THIS YEAR TOO!!!!" They love it that we have something in common, and a few of them have wondered aloud if they will be as tall as me when they turn 6. Later on I might have them add 30 to that number to get my actual age, but probably not. ;)

In the end, despite the learning curve, I am enjoying kindergarten. I love being done with the direct teaching at 11:25 am when my kids (the early birds) leave for the day. I only have to be "on" for half a day, and it's quite nice! I also like having a bit of prep time during the afternoon, something that is a rare commodity in my school district these days (teacher prep time was cut because of the budget). And fortunately, I am working with a great partner who has everything I could possibly need to teach the hands-on lessons. She's also great about letting me pick her brain as I learn the new grade level.

I think it is going to be a good year, and, at the very least, it should give me some great stories!

Today was the first day of school, and also my first day teaching kindergarten. Making the leap from 5th and 6th grade to kinder has been quite an adjustment. While I like the shorter teaching days (I teach for 3.5 hours and assist the afternoon teacher for 3 hours), and am glad for the easier grading, I'm also mourning the loss of my history curriculum. History is a great love of mine, and I had the best time teaching Ancient Civilizations and US History. I believe kindergarten Social Studies consists of topics like what it means to be a good citizen and maybe a lesson or two on police officers and firefighters. All important things, to be sure, but not really my area of interest.

The other adjustment has been how I will relate to my students. I'm one of those teachers who tends to call her students "Dude," and I'm not sure how it will fly the first time I let a "dude" slip with 5 year olds. One of my 5th grade colleagues said that me teaching kindergarten is "like Rodney Dangerfield teaching kindergarten." I'm not quite sure how to take that. (I get no respect, I tell ya!). Since this teacher likes me, I think I'll take it as an observation of my playful quirkiness, rather than an actual criticism.

Adding to my kinder-anxiety is the fact that I have 3 kids with severe food allergies in my class (both from ingestion and contact), 2 of which are life-threatening and require epi-pens. Fortunately the parents of two of the kids are pretty reasonable an practical about the difficulties presented by a kindergarten situation. We've been working together to make the classroom and playground as safe as possible for their children. The third parent... well, let's just say that the jury is still out on that one (although I think a verdict of "crazy" may be imminent).

Despite these anxieties, today went surprisingly well. The kids were all pretty sweet and seemed to enjoy being in class. There was one "Oh crap!" moment when I had the kids sorting school supplies on the big carpet while I brought students to their cubbies one by one. After I led a child to her cubbie, I turned back to the carpet to see kleenex tissues flying in the air. Sitting in the midst of this tissue downpour was a little girl, gleefully tearing kleenex from every box around her. I so did not anticipate that! When I asked her to stop, she looked up at me in confusion and said, "But they're my Kleenex."

Kindergartners will certainly keep you on your toes.

Hopefully tomorrow will go even better and by the end of the month, the kids and I will have our routines down. I think it is going to be a very interesting year.

Well, we're back. Back from our Disney World vacation and back to the daily grind. *sigh* It's always hard to return to normal life, but we did make some good memories on the trip. Here are a few highlights:

• As always, the FOOD. We love the Boma restaurant in the Animal Kingdom lodge and returned there this trip. Excellent African-inspired dishes and a delicious bread pudding with chocolate rum sauce for dessert! If you're heading to DisneyWorld in the future, I recommend checking this place out. Just make your reservations for sometime in the 4-5 pm hour, otherwise you may have to wait in long lines to get your food.
  
• We also went to the Coral Reef restaurant in Epcot, which was quite an experience. The entire wall is a window into a giant aquarium, and we were seated right next to it. The view, the food, and the service were all excellent. There's just something so relaxing about watching sea turtles and stingrays glide by as you enjoy a well-cooked meal.
• Meeting the Mad Hatter at breakfast. I'm not really an Alice in Wonderland fan - for some reason, I find it all a bit disturbing. But the guy who did the Mad Hatter was a lot of fun. He reminded me of many of the actors I worked with in musical theatre (IF you know what I mean....) and he sat and chatted with us for quite a while. Vika and Eamon were completely charmed by him, unlike the girl at the next table who ran to her mother, wailing hysterically as he approached.
• The absolute, number 1 highlight of this vacation for me was supplied by Eamon. Now, there's no way to sugar-coat this, but for much of the trip, the boy was a bit of a pansy. He got really scared on Splash Mountain and cried (with tears) through Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, screaming "I WANT TO GET OFF!" soon after the ride began. It was strange because he loved both rides last year at Disneyland - I'm not sure what happened to heighten his fear. In line for every ride we went of after Thunder Mountain, Eamon asked, "Is this one fast? Are there any bumps?" In the Winnie The Pooh ride line he asked this! So, Jeff and I pretty much agreed that Expedition Everest was not going to be Eamon's cup of tea (for those of you who haven't been to DW recently, it's a roller coaster that goes through "Mt. Everest" at high speeds, both forwards and backwards, with a close encounter of the Yeti kind). Finally, the day came when we were ready to tackle Everest. Jeff and I had devised a plan where we would take turns on the ride, so one of us could be with Eamon at all times. However, as we approached the line, Eamon said, "I wanna do it." "What?" I asked, "Are you sure?" Eamon replied, "Yes Mama, I think I can do it." As we walked through the line, Eamon was very quiet and tense, taking everything in. When it was our turn to get onto the train, Eamon sat down stiffly and began to shake. "Are you OK?" I asked, and he just nodded. Then the train began moving, and I looked over, prepared to see an expression of terror on the boy's face. What I saw instead completely surprised me - Eamon had lifted his hands in the air and was wearing a big smile on his face! He kept his hands up for most of the ride, sometimes letting out an exhilarated yell. The boy looked like he was having so much fun, only betraying his fear once towards the end of the ride when he asked, "Mama, is it almost over?" When I answered yes, he replied, "Good!" However, after the ride, Eames was completely giddy that he had done it. I was so proud of him for conquering his fear and enjoying the ride, and it was clear that he was pretty proud of himself too. What a little stud!
  

Unfortunately, all good things must end, so now we're home, with piles of laundry to do and groceries to buy (which I hope Jeff is out doing right now, since I'm plopped in front of the computer).

One other bit of news happened during my vacation. I got a call from the district offering me a teaching job! Kind of.... but I'll get to that in a bit. The original offer was to teach 2nd grade at the lowest performing school in the district. It wasn't an ideal position, but there are some benefits to teaching in the primary grades, regardless of the school, so I was prepared to accept it. Then, when I got home, I heard a rumor that I was put in a kindergarten position at my old school instead. I confirmed the rumor this afternoon, so now it looks as if I'll be teaching really little kids this year! It's going to be quite a change, but I'll be in a school I know, with teachers who are my friends and who will help me find my footing.

The main bummer about this whole thing is that this isn't a real teaching position. Our district is re-hiring laid-off teachers as "long-term subs," which means that we'll be doing all the same work, but for less than half of our regular teaching salary and no benefits. And, if I don't accept the position, then I'll be off the District re-hire list for good. Nice, don't you think? They may make it a temporary contract in October (what all newer teachers are hired under), which would get me back to my regular pay. If they don't though, I'll have to reassess what I'm going to do at that time. I mean, if they are going to pay me as a sub, with no benefits, than I might as well work as a day sub, with the flexibility and shorter hours justified by the lower pay (no after school meetings or evening/weekend grading). Hopefully that won't happen though and I, along with the other 60 teachers who have been hired back, will get a regular teaching contract. I'll keep you posted.

It's kind of fun to see how they've grown. (Thanks Maggie, for the collage idea!)

Disney World, here we come!!! (Hurricane Bill and tropical storm Claudette, stay AWAY!)

This week, the kids have been in day camp, and it has been GLORIOUS! From around 8:30 am until 3 pm, they are at the local community center doing fun activities with friends. This week's theme is "Totally Talented," which translates to a lot of karaoke, camp songs, and talent shows. Although they did learn the dance to Michael Jackson's "Thriller" the other day. It was funny to see them dancing (jerking) around with their zombie faces on. Unfortunately, the video camera was not charged, and by the time it was, Vika and Eamon had forgotten most of the dance. *sigh*

The best part about camp is not that the kids get to be out of the house having fun, but it's that I have some actual free time to myself. I haven't had that for over 3 years now, and I'm enjoying every minute of it! I've been knitting my sweater (this little number,which I really want to complete in time to wear this Fall) and watching a lot of "The Tudors" on Netflix. Although I was a bit put off by some of the explicit scenes at first, I have come to love "The Tudors." I must admit that I am lured as much by my admiration of Henry Cavill as by my interest in English history - however fictionalized it may be for dramatic effect. "The Tudors" is something you definitely don't want to watch when kids are around, so having Vika and Eamon at camp has been a perfect opportunity to catch up.

Next week, we're off to Florida and Disney World. It may be hot and sticky, but since we haven't had a lot of hot weather in Northern California this summer, I figure we're about due for some heat. Although the poor kids did get a bit sunbured on their faces yesterday. I lathered on the sunscreen, but they went on a field trip to the waterpark and forgot to reapply later in the day. This prompted a mini-lecture from Jeff on the merits of sunscreen and why it's important to protect your skin. He did a wrinkle demonstration and then said that "once the damage is done, there's nothing you can do about it."

Eamon, ever the optimist, replied, "We could wish...on a star...."

Now, is that a kid who's ready for Disney World or what?

My kids have matching grins. On Sunday Eamon lost a second front tooth, evening-up the Tooth Fairy count. Now he and Vika are missing both their two front teeth, and the two teeth on either side of their bottom front teeth (they already have their grown-up teeth in the bottom front). Unfortunately, Eamon keeps sticking his tongue through the gap, so this is the best photo I could get.

Maybe if they stay like this through October, we can paint their faces orange and have "kid o' lanterns" instead of Jack o' lanterns for Halloween?

Our You Capture assignment this week, handed down by Beth at I should be Folding Laundry, was Independence Day and food. This year we went to a 4th of July Festival which included a chili cook-off. My SIL's band was playing, so we were able to hang with Joe and Ty, and Mom and Ed for some music and dancing. There was a strange hula hoop woman dancing all by herself in front of the stage. Well, I use the term "dancing" loosely, since she was really hula hooping and swaying to the music. Wearing a long orange print skirt and a black tank-top, her gray hair in a bun, she looked more like someone who would be attending a Grateful Dead concert rather than getting down to "Pokerface" sung by a party band. But there she was, having a great old time.

The benefit of having hula-hoop lady there was that she let the kids use some of her extra hoops. That was all the encouragement Eamon needed. He got into one of those hoops and twirled until the music ended! And, though I've mentioned it before, I need to reiterate, that boy can hula hoop! I can't twirl the things worth a damn, but Eamon has some mad skilz! I think he impressed quite a few people (especially me). Between band sets, there were also some games, and the kids entered a water balloon toss competition. Alas, their time in the game was too short, as Eamon dropped the first toss Vika chucked at him.

When the show was over, we went to the chili cook-off where we ate tiny samples and voted on the one we liked best. Some of them were good, but others were entirely too spicy! The firemen had some chili that was insanely hot. Like, not even enjoyable hot. A few hours later, we were all feeling that chili, and not in a good way either. I think next year we'll skip the sampling.

After the festival, we headed to the cemetery to visit the grave of Jeff's parents. There were flags lined up everywhere, honoring the day, and it was very peaceful. Until Eamon said, "There sure are a lot of dead people here!" A quick explanation about sensitivity and loss followed, and then we were on our way.

There's no real way to sugar-coat this, but the kids are driving me insane! Sure, I enjoy spending time with them, but all those Summer projects I planned on doing... well between, "Mama, what's for snack?" and "Mama, Eamon's not getting out of my room when I asked him to!" and "Mama, can we watch TV?", not a lot of projects are getting done. So, when Mel invited us to play at a new park in her area, I jumped at the chance (even though it's more than an hour drive away). Anything to get the kids running around, and hopefully exhausted, so that I can have a little quiet time to myself later. Being able to hang with my best friends, Mel and James, was an added bonus!

Jeff has his brilliant moments. Often he will come up with little demonstrations to get a certain point across to the kids, and he does it in a way that I wold never have thought of, but which makes perfect sense.

Such an occurrence happened this morning. We've had reoccurring issues with bossiness and aggression in our household. Usually Vika is bossy to Eamon, and he reacts aggressively. After repeated instances of this yesterday, and Jeff and I (unsuccessfully) instructing the kids to solve their problems in a nicer way, we finally decided that a family meeting was called for.

Once the breakfast dishes were cleared, Jeff began telling the kids about how some people "push" to try to get what they want, and others "pull." What we have been seeing in our house is Vika pushing Eamon with angry words and body language, and Eamon pushing back with angry words and physical contact. Jeff and I both explained how when you "push" at something or someone, you are making it go farther away from you. Then Jeff talked about gently pulling to get what you want. By using kind words and smiles, you can bring people closer to you. I made a comment about honey attracting more bees than vinegar, which earned me blank stares from both Vika and Eamon. Jeff rolled his eyes and then pulled the kids' attention back to him with a simple piece of string.

"Watch" he said, as he laid it out on the table in a nice straight line. As Vika and Eamon looked on, riveted, he demonstrated what happens when you try to "push" something to do what you want. He pushed the string with his finger, and it crumpled up on itself, moving farther away in an untidy mess. Then he said, "But look what happens when you pull gently." Jeff grabbed the end of the string, and gently pulled it towards him. It moved in a straight line, going whichever direction he wanted it to take. The kids ooooohh'd and aaahhhh'd at this, seeing in a whole new way what we've been trying to tell them for years.

Not to be completely outdone, I asked, "Papa, what happens if you pull the string hard, instead of gently?" Vika and Eamon turned back to watch as Jeff jerked on the string, making it crumple up again and fall half off the table. "The key," I added, "is to pull gently." Jeff gave Vix and Eames their own piece of string to play with (much to their delight), and they experimented with pulling and pushing their twine for a few minutes.

As we left today to go on a hike, I noticed that Vika had her piece of string tied to her belt loop and Eamon carried his in his pants pocket. Maybe this demonstration made a bigger impression that I thought? Hopefully Jeff's lesson is something that will stick with them for a while and maybe even encourage them to change their pushy ways.

Sorry about that. I've been terribly busy at school and more than a little stressed out about the uncertainty of my future employment. Open House was last night, which is one big thing out of the way. It went well, and many parents expressed dismay that I wasn't going to be returning next year. Now I just have a colloquium and exit interview for BTSA (the program to clear my teaching credential), Science Camp, final report cards and packing up my classroom before I'm on Summer Break!

On the job front, a nearby district is hiring teachers, so I've put in an application. Hopefully I'll get an interview, despite what is likely to be huge competition from other teachers laid off in my district. I'm also looking at jobs outside of classroom education, so we'll see what happens.

The job search has raised an important question in my mind, and maybe some of you can help me out with this. What do parents who work basic 9-5 jobs do with their kids during school breaks? Suggestions?

Here's a note that was hung on Vika's door today. Apparently Eamon's making a nuisance of himself. Never mind the fact that my daughter's spelling is atrocious.


For those of you who are non-Vika-literate, here's a translation: "Please stay out unless you are mama or papa. No one bother!"